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Your 14,15,16 or 17 year old is pregnant-what makes us think we have any choices?

so your baby comes home and says to you, "ma, Im pregnant."
In your mind you have already come up with a million reasons to why she should not or should keep it, I read all these questions like "should I make her keep it" "should I tell her to abort it" and my FAVORITE " I would NEVER allow her to get rid of it, will raise it or she can give it up for adoption" another one that pushes my buttons is "Lets go discuss it with the fathers parents" When reading those comments I here as a young adult/mother that the decision to keep or terminate is the (GRANDPARENTS) choice... if your 14 year old came home and was pregnant she DOES have legal rights at that point to make her own choice you cant force a choice upon her.
So my question is, how many other people get upset by comments that make it sound as though the grandparent is giving there child no other options than the one the The grandparent likes best?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:34 PM on May. 16, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (17)
  • In Illinois a pregant minor is considered an adult regarding her pregnancy.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 2:36 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • I think its an irrational part of mothers to protect there children-Its not that we as parents think we can choose for them, but we know what we had to give up to raise our kids and in a controlling and irrational way we want to protect them from that...young children dont understand what there getting themselves into, they think of a baby as a toy.
    I can see there side, feeling pushed into something, but in the end when they cant take care of what the made whos responsiblity is it if not the grandparents. maybe your right, maybe we do need to sit down with them and help them make the right choice and not try to push it on them, but if my daughter wasnt responsible to make the choice on her own I would push for what I thought was best-even if she hated me in the end for it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:39 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • I think some parents may feel like their prego teen isnt old enough to make the right decision regard whats best for them, so they are thinking "they know whats best for their daughter". It's going to be a tuff decision either way. But it does bother me that the grandparents think they have the right to decide.
    forevermom75

    Answer by forevermom75 at 2:40 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • thats why i didnt tell my parents right away. i knew they would tell me to put him up for adoption. i finally told them i was keeping him and that was that and they would have to be fine with it. eventually they got the hint. i dont appreciate parents who try to tell their teenager who is pregnant what to do. i mean it is your body. no one can tell you what to do with your own body. if my daughter got pregnant at a young age i would let her decide for herself what she wanted to do. and i would support her if she kept the baby or put the baby up for adoption. it would be her choice ultimately and i would not try to force my own opinion on her
    kelsey.evans08

    Answer by kelsey.evans08 at 2:44 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • I would want my daughter to make what ever choice she felt comforatble with, I know my Daughter is in no way shape or form ready to be a mother, but sometimes the best things come out of the worst things- I would not kick her out, force her to choose between me or her baby but I would let her know I wasnt planing on raiseing it, I would help her, but at that point she had to be ready to stay in school and when she came home take her role as a mother seariously. There wouldnt be "mom, there is a party, can you watch the baby" or "mom, I need a day off, can you take him" or "mom I'm too tired to get up with him at night and get up for school in the morning" I would hold no mersey-she wants to keep it thats great and i support her choice, but she will be doing everything possible to take care of her own. I would raise MY baby by making sure she stayed in school, she would take care of hers and make sure her child was taken careof
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:49 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • wow.. that could be a lot to take in all at once.. stay calm and think logically.
    Let her make the decision on what she wants to do. DO NOT MAKE THE DECISION FOR HER. Reason for you dont want her to think in the long run/ in the near future WHAT IF... Nor do you want her to blame you for the decision she think you made for her.
    Its hard but try to support her and listen.. If she want advice give it but let her make her own decision. That is a decision she will have to live with for the rest of her life.
    Elizabeth1837

    Answer by Elizabeth1837 at 5:35 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • Well having friends that were teen parents I have seen the situation handled in three different ways. one didn't tell anyone and deliever the baby herself in the bathroom in the middle of the night. the other one told and her parents kept her locked up and the third told and the parents accepted her and she went about life as normal all kept their children and went to college, got married and had a family. I think when parents gives their children no options that they aren't thinking about the childs best interest they are actually thinking about how it looks for them to be having a pregnant teen.
    godsgrace1

    Answer by godsgrace1 at 6:11 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • I, myself, was one of those that turned up pregnant at 17. My Mama and Stepfather gave me 3 choices. Those choices were 1. Have the baby and raise it. 2. Give the baby up for adoption. 3. Have an abortion. I chose to have the baby and raise it. I was pregnant 2 times after that, and got the same choices each time. Therefore, when my oldest daughter told me she was pregnant (16 at the time), (just to see what I would say), I gave her the same choices. Then, she told me she wasn't really pregnant, she just wanted to see what I'd say. She has since had a son, but was married when she got pregnant. We thought my youngest daughter, (15 at the time), had gotten pregnant. I gave her the same choices if the test was positive, but it came out negative. Twice since then, she wanted to be tested and got the same response from me and my husband.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:04 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • I was 18 when I got preggo basically legal then so my mom could only give advice. She didn't believe it at first but she accepted it asap. But I know where your coming from because my friend must not know she has a brain. Her mom does all the thinking for her I actually think she brainwashed. She's 19 and I know her mom would def have say if she got preggo. She would probably tell her to get an abortion because she in her household. Since she buys her everything she wants anywayz; but I dont hink she would be fit. But still some of these parents need to actually talk with their kids! You can't just make the get rid of the baby like it never happened. Or give it away if they were that mature to have sex let them be the one to decide. W/O all the pressure and negative comments!
    MzBee2009

    Answer by MzBee2009 at 11:12 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • my daughter is only 12, and not sexually active, but she has told me if and when she gets pregnat she will keep it no matter what. she knows that i will help her in anyway i can. hopefully i wont have that situation for seceral more years.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:28 AM on May. 17, 2009

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