Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Your 14,15,16 or 17 year old is pregnant-what makes us think we have any choices?

so your baby comes home and says to you, "ma, Im pregnant."
In your mind you have already come up with a million reasons to why she should not or should keep it, I read all these questions like "should I make her keep it" "should I tell her to abort it" and my FAVORITE " I would NEVER allow her to get rid of it, will raise it or she can give it up for adoption" another one that pushes my buttons is "Lets go discuss it with the fathers parents" When reading those comments I here as a young adult/mother that the decision to keep or terminate is the (GRANDPARENTS) choice... if your 14 year old came home and was pregnant she DOES have legal rights at that point to make her own choice you cant force a choice upon her.
So my question is, how many other people get upset by comments that make it sound as though the grandparent is giving there child no other options than the one the The grandparent likes best?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:01 PM on May. 16, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (19)
  • Not positive about the legal part of this hypothetical situation...I'm pretty sure a pregnant teens' rights vary from state to state. My brother's girlfriend became pregnant at 16. They opted to keep the baby. That decision was made by everyone involved (both sets of parents/grandparents.) I think it's important to have open communication. While the teenaged mother should have a say in what happens (abortion, adoption, keeping child,) they are still bound by their parents' decisions. They live under mom & dad's roof.

    Answer by MommyDumDum at 3:06 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • I don't really understand your question. Let me tell you something Honey, as a parent, my 14 year old does NOT have any choices. She is under my roof and I am supporting her butt. NO SHE DOES not get to choose, unless she moves her butt out from under my roof. Okay, now, I am a grandmother, my daughter had her first one at 19. She is now having issues, BUT I will not take them in. She is perfectly capable of working and living on her own. IF there was no other option, and something happened to my daughter (God Forbid), My ex and I would share joint custody of the girls. BUT NEVER and I CAN SAY NEVER would my 14 year old ever think she had a choice under my roof.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • I agree. I don't think at that young age they are ready for a child but it can and has been done before with the help and support of the family. I would be disappointed in my daughter and really hurt but we would discuss it and it would be her decision if she wanted to explore other options. I would never tell her to abort it or put it up for adoption. I would help her while she is in school and be the best mother and grandmother I could be. Its no longer YOUR choice when your child decides to give up THEIR body.

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 3:08 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • that would annoy graduating in june and im 6 months pregnant now.when i told my mother i was shittin bricks but surprisingly she took it really well.she made me ffeel so positive and let me nnoe the decision was all mine and no one elses.she didnt even bring up the choice of abortion because she didnt want to have that type of influence she said that if i would of chose to have an abortion i most likey would of hated her for it later down the road.she let me decide as a woman and i thank her for that.

    Answer by Desi2Sweet at 3:09 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • My child WOULD NOT be having a baby at 14, 15 etc. I will my kids know I wont accept teen parenting (no offense to teen moms) Im just saying my kids wont be one and that goes for both my daughter and son. My 14 y/o wont be able to take care of a baby and Im not taking care of my child's baby. Im not stupid I know kids will be having sex at that age or experimenting. My daughter will be on birth control (no that's not condoning sex its preventing unplanned pregnancies) and my children will have condoms. I am pro choice and if my child gets pregnant at a young age and is still under my roof she will be getting an abortion no if and's or but's about it

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:17 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • I think communication with all the families involve is best. See what they thinks and maybe they can help and give their advice.

    Good Luck.

    Answer by katfranz111 at 3:29 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • Anon 2:17 - why an abortion? Why not adoption? Nobody can make her abort. I had a boyfriend who insisted that I would have an abortion, and I told him that he could not make me do that. Your choice is to refuse to support her and enable her irresponsibility (getting pg before being ready to be a parent).

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:10 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • Anonymous 3:17, sorry but if your son got a girl pregnant, he is a teen parent, if that girls decides to have the baby, you cant make another persons child have an abortion, and how dare you try and force abortion on your daughter.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:39 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • anon 3:17 news flash I dont care if your daughter is 13-u cant legally force an abortion- and depending on the state u cant amancipate her either-
    shame on you for thinking you have the right to choose for her-I would be devistated if my daghter got knocked up at that age, I would take care of her, make her finish school, and i would expect her to make her own choice, if she opted to keep the child in question, well I would make damn sure that she took care of that baby, which means school work, coming home taking care of her baby, and going to sleep and doing it all over agian the next day, if she didn like it than she could give it up for adoption in the end.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:48 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • If he or she felt that they were adult enough to make the decision to have sex then they are adult enough to deal with the consequences of that decision. I can't make them do anything but I can express my thoughts and concerns on the situation. I would not however belittle them for making a poor choice and would support them the best that I could. That doesn't mean you get to leave YOUR baby for ME to raise but it does mean that I wouldn't kick you to the curb because I don't think that this country needs yet another welfare case!

    Answer by apattinson at 5:18 PM on May. 16, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.