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My 3 year old refuses to use the potty. I make sure not to show my frustration but I am at my wits end and don't know what to do. We have made a big to do about anytime she actually tried and even bigger deal on the ocassion she succeeded. But even having her in big girl panties has not worked either she just soils herself everytime....I dont know what else to do she is my stubborn one! Any advice?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:19 PM on May. 16, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (14)
  • Just wait another month and try again. No use frustrating yourself and her over it. Take your time =)

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 3:21 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • potty training is a big parents punished me when i would soil myself because they knew i just was lik they told me to make sure i tell them im gonna go or its time out. i didnt soil anymore lol

    Answer by Desi2Sweet at 3:24 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • Leave her in her panties for awhile so she knows the real feeling of it and sit her on the toilet. Take her every hour or so and make her try. Get rid of all her diapers and or pull ups if you have them and any other baby item she associates with going potty. Are you using a potty chair or the regular toilet? Possibly buy her a seat to go over your toilet seat so she can use it that way or a potty chair if she isn't using one now.

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 3:27 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • My dh wanted me to spank my DS when he would poop or pee on the floor. My ds never cared. So eventually I just let him run naked. He got tired of always cleaning him mess so he started peeing on a regular basis. Now we are working on pooping in the potty. For the most part he has no problems, but there are times where he just deosn't try. I refuse to leave him in his underwear or pull ups, it can cause a horrible rash.

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 5:40 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • I say wait a while and try again. When she is ready it will be easy. My stubborn one was reading at 3yrs but refused to potty train until 4rs 2mos. I was the one who suffered for a year when I took away all of his diapers at 3! He didn't care if I made him clean it up or anything. There was no reward that would tempt him. Give yourself a break and try again in a month or two.

    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 5:59 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • i ended up spanking my dd. once you knowshe can and just doesnt want to she is playing you and controlling you. i did everything you did what made me spank is when she spent the whole day with my friend and hand no accidents. the next day she would not go on the potty. she had 3 "accidents" i spanked her after each and made her clean it up. havent had a problem since.

    Answer by Soniam301 at 6:58 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • To potty train our kids, we did the butt naked training. We stayed home for a long weekend, took their pants off and had them sit on the potty every 1/2 hour to hour. She is 3. So she knows when to go, it's a control issue. Good luck with whatever you try!!

    Answer by StephanieMcC at 9:26 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • I have a stubborn little boy who refused to potty train until he turned three, I think it was. We finally used a hershey's kiss or a chocolate chip to "bribe" him with. If he used the potty, he got one! Every time for the first few days. Then I would try to "forget" and not mention the treat, and sure enough it did fade. It was maybe a week of treats before he didn't even really ask anymore.

    I also started taking him with me to the potty, narrating the whole process: "ooh, I feel like I have to go pee. Come with me!" and we'd go together. I'd narrate the process simply, let him check out the potty and everything lol, which seemed intriguing to him. I let it go a little, and he just surprised me by picking it up himself, basically.

    Sometimes with stubborn kids, anything that yYOU get too excited for them to try becomes the number one thing they start to resist. Give him every opportunity, then let it go til later

    Answer by treehugginmama at 1:55 AM on May. 17, 2009

  • At this point it's totally a control issue as it's the1 thing she KNOWS she has total control over. I've spanked my DD, made her help clean up the mess, rewarded w/ hugs&kisses, candy, toys, and Sprite, ignoring the accidents & only giving a reaction when she does well, etc. This finally worked: When you can devote an entire day or 2, tell her you're throwing her diapers away b/c she's a big girl and they don't fit her. Make sure she see's them in the trash. Let her pick out panties & set her free. VS. asking her if she needs to potty, ask her if she wants to use the big toilet OR her potty. Let her wash her hands w/ "special" soap after going. When she has an accident show no emotion. Change her & remind her that she's a big girl who has to wear panties b/c her diapers don't fit. Talk to her about how panties are different & don't hold messes in/ keep her dry. Make her feel like she's in control & it's no biggie to you.

    Answer by jesleesmom at 4:25 AM on May. 17, 2009

  • You said you used praise, but did you also use reinforcers to motivate her and praise her? When my daughter was being trained, she really wanted a Barbie car( small one for the doll). We made a chart with a picture of the care at the top of a piece of poster board. At the bottom of the poster we put a picture of my daughter and the Barbie. We drew a road going from the bottom to the top of the poster. Everytime she peed or pooped in the potty we put a sticker on the road. I put the sticker close together so it took us a couple of weeks or more to get to the car. She enjoyed getting the stickers. At first I took her to the potty every 40-60 minutes and had her sit, did not ask her, just took her. Don't use pullups, just diapers until success happens often, then panties. After a couple of days, she told me when she needed to go or would say yes/no when I asked. Praise her, give her stickers, big prize when trained!

    Answer by LovetoTeach247 at 11:13 AM on May. 17, 2009

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