Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Life After Abortion

So there's been a lot of talk about abortion today and I have a question. My question is...What is life like after abortion? Many are willing to make that choice but what is it like afterward living with that choice ?

Do people really move past it or do you suffer with guilt your whole life?

This is not meant to be hurtful at all. I really am just wanting to know the truth. Is it as easy a way out of pregnancy as it appears to be or do people suffer for years with the decision?

Feel free to post anonymously, I know this is very personal.


Asked by Anonymous at 3:56 PM on May. 16, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • Every once in a while I stop what I'm doing and figure out how old the baby would be. This year would be graduating high school. Then I offer a few silent curses to the bastards who convinced me it was the only option. There isn't anything else to be done.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:14 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • It's not an easy way out. I was bullied into one by an abusive ex. He had me very well controlled and I had very few options for help or escape. I had a very hard time dealing with it, made worse by people calling me a murderer. It was very hard on me on all the anniversaries of what would have been my due date. I don't like abortion, but I am still very pro-choice. A part of me is glad I didn't have the child so there is nothing tying me to that man. Getting away would have been much more difficult if I had had his baby. But a big part of me is very sad about it. You do move on with life, but you never really get over it, KWIM. Admittedly, it does make me want to knock some sense into people who never had to deal with a situation call it an "easy way out".

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:03 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • Life after my abortion...

    1) I left the man who mentally abused me and am married to my best friend and soul mate who loves me and treats me right.

    2) I stopped working dead end jobs and now have a career as a nurse.

    3) I have three beautiful child whom I would give my life for.

    I do not suffer from guilt...I did initially because I was maneuvered into it but as I age I become wiser and I know that that maneuver was the nicest thing he ever did for me because it was the best choice all around.

    Had I had that baby I would have stayed with a man who mentally abused me and did not love me because I loved him and I wanted it to work.  I would still be working dead end jobs and I would be miserable.


    Answer by anetrnlov at 4:04 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • I honestly don't ever think about it, if I do it will probably upset me, but I have two kids now so I've moved on and have asked God for forgiveness. I love my life and my family so I have nothing bad to say about my experience as a child(I was 16).

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:07 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • OP here, I 'm sorry, I did not state my question as well as I could have. I know for many it is not an "easy way out". I know several individuals who have gotten an abortion and don't seem to think twice about it. I do not know their inner thoughts or turmoils appeared it was easy to them, but I know that is not the case for everyone. Sorry again.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:13 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • ...for me...easier than life after adoption...

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:15 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • I haven't personally had an abortion. Two people close to me have. One of them is very conflicted and has a lot of regrets. The other feels that under the circumstances it was the best choice for her to make and isn't bothered by it. So I guess it really depends on the person and the circumstances.

    Answer by Freela at 4:16 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • Living with the acceptance that I did not have a baby that I desperately wanted, with a man whom I loved more than anything, has plagued me for years. It was a horrible, horrible thing to go through, but I had absolutley NO ONE to support me. I had no one to help me, I had nothing.
    I was emotionally drained by the fact that this person who i loved with my entire being, deserted me, and whom I thought loved me equally.....
    It still makes me cry when I think about it. For the lost love of him, for the fool that I felt I was, and for the loss of that baby.
    It was the worst decision I ever had to make....but had I not made it, I'd be stuck in a place that was no good for me. I'd have never met my incredible DH and had our two most wonderful children.
    I can't take away that time in my life, and it was a life lesson for me. And I'd do it the same if I had to, so that I'd have the joy in my kids now.

    Answer by sahmamax2 at 4:36 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • I think about the baby I would have had and how differently my life would have been. I wonder if the man I am married to today would have looked at me twice had I had a child. I wonder if I would have completed college or graduate school if I had a child to care and provide for. I wonder if I would have the job I presently have, have the house and the life that I now have where I can finally provide for a child in all the ways I would want.

    I do not regret the decision. The father of that child was a cihld himself, and incapable of assisting me in raising the baby. He was immature and self-centered.. He felt the condom break and kept going because he wanted to finish. I don't know if I could have subjected my child to a life of deprivation because of the mistakes the father and I made. Having been adopted myself, I don't know if I could have lived with myself if my child knew I had rejected him/her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:20 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • I rarely think on it. When I do I am thankful I did it. If I did not I would not be alive. I had pregnancy depresion that was so bad I had even thought of ways to kill myself in a mental hospital. It was a tough choice, but it wasthe best choice. There is no way I would have made it through that pregnancy with my life and I had a child that needed her mother. A lot of people realize how real and bad post partum depression is, but few realize that pregnancy can bring the same depresion on just as bad if not worse than PPD. It is actually not that uncommon either, but so many women will not talk about it or even admit to it because they are ashamed of being depressed while pregnant, and think it says horrible things about them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:02 PM on May. 16, 2009