Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How often is appropriate for inlaws to visit?

My husband's parents live 4 hours away and generally come visit us every 2 months for about a week at a time. They are really great house guests, and in many ways I consider myself lucky. However, I really don't like them visiting that often. I wouldn't mind it it were just a few days, but a week just grates on me. It's not them, it's just a privacy issue - plus I get weary of having to play the perfect daughter in law for a week! When growing up, my entire family lived in the same town, so I don't have experience in having out of town family stay over and don't know what's normal. Is this a reasonable amount of time for them to be coming to visit or is it a bit much?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:43 PM on May. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • Yea, a week is a bit long.
    bizima4

    Answer by bizima4 at 8:44 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • i say never...lol. but that's me. as for your situation, i'd say a weekend. i mean they're only 4 hours away.
    armywife43

    Answer by armywife43 at 8:49 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • Never!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:49 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • I don't know that there is a standard. What is reasonable is what you and hubby decide on for your family. What does he think? If he agrees or wants to let you have the privacy you wish for, he really should be the one to go to them and let them know that you guys love their visits, but we need a little more space. Maybe they could come less often for a week or just as often and only stay 3 or 4 days.
    micheledo

    Answer by micheledo at 8:51 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • I wouldn't mind it. We only get visits about twice a year for a week, but that's because we live 2,500 miles away and plane tickets are expensive.
    toriandgrace

    Answer by toriandgrace at 8:52 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • A week every couple of months- doesn't sound like too much to me. Especially if they help out with babysitting, housework, outings, things like this.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:52 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • I can see a wk if they lived a couple states away or somethin, but 4 hours? I agree, a bit 2 long. Have u talked 2 ur hubby about it? We only live 2 hrs away from my fiance's fam, but when we stay there, I insist on a room. I'm like u...need my privacy! Not 2 mention some quiet time & there are just 2 many ppl in that house!
    bridgeh2o

    Answer by bridgeh2o at 8:56 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • How long have you been married? Did your husband live near them before you got married? Just wondering if it's an issue of it being hard to have you guys that far away (I know when my boys get married, I'd hate it if they live far away- though 4 hours isn't toooo far- I'm sure it still feels like it).
    Personally, I get along with my inlaws, so it probably wouldn't bother me having them come visit that often.
    Maybe talk it over with your husband and see how he feels about it. Then the two of you may have to talk to them and see if they can stay for a shorter time or come less often.
    rosiecotton

    Answer by rosiecotton at 9:03 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • NEVER! Tell them to stay at a hotel!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:06 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • What yours are coming, sounds reasonable. Who said you have to play the perfect daughter in law? Just be yourself, ask them for help with preparing meals, watching the kids while you clean or run errands. If you stop acting perfect and just relax and enjoy the time that they are there, it wouldn't seem so bad.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:45 PM on May. 16, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN