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Falling grades...

I am curious about what kind of discipline other moms think is appropriate for falling grades. My son is in 9th grade and when his social life took off his grades went down. While I am happy he is feeling comfortable at HS I am worried about his falling grades and am not sure what to do. Any advice would be helpful. Thanks!


Asked by busybee921 at 9:03 PM on May. 16, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (8)
  • Busybee921 ~ Has he actually failed a state required course for the year such as English, Science, History, or Math? If so, then he will have to retake that course before he can take the 10th grade course.
    My 15 y/o Freshman daughter was too lazy to do her homework in 2 courses, one of them was English 9, and now she is failing it for the year, but she earned enough credits to go on to 10th grade. I was told she could take it as a summer course (which is easier) if I pay $125. I told her no way - she has to take it in 10th grade while her friends go on to English10 and she can't take English10 until she passes English9.
    Also, I bought her some home study materials because she is going to do summer school here at home every day for 2-3 hours a day. That way, she will be fresh for the new year and understand the importance of doing her work.

    Answer by PrydferthMenyw at 11:46 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • Let him deal with the natural consequences of failing grades. For my 7th grader I do that and I take away priveleges and that includes doing things with this friends.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:03 PM on May. 16, 2009

  • As someone here said before 'what's his currency?' If his social life is what counts you have to explain that social life is very important, but education is more so - and he has to make time for both. I'd sit down with him and set some rules about your expectations in terms of grade (it also depends how much you can monitor his grades) and set limits to going out, or spending time on the PC.

    Fortunately, for my kids, it works pretty well. I also recommend that you first try to make it small - monitor and punish on a week to week basis. My daughter recently got detention for talking back to a teacher - so as our rule for such incidents is cancel the next week of activites & outings (i.e. even if invitations accepted, etc!!), even if she only had to cancel on night at a friend's house, boy does she feel the pain!!

    Answer by PhillyinFrance at 3:47 AM on May. 17, 2009

  • I have a 19 ds who did terrible in HS. I don't know the answer, we tried EVERYTHING. It is the social thing that takes priority. I am just thankful he knew enough to get thru classes even if his grades were pathetic. He is very smart so it was SO frustrating. The thing that helped him the most was a male teacher who was Asst. Principal that would meet with him once a month at school and keep him motivated (slightly) and tell him what he needed to graduate. Sometimes they listen to others better than there own parents. I feel for you, you have a long way to go till graduation day. That sad thing is, when he got in 12th he wanted to go to a Univ. and did not get accepted. He was crushed but is making it at our community college.

    Answer by njt320 at 8:29 AM on May. 17, 2009

  • I have recently found with my 16 yo DS if I rephrase punishment for bad grades as helping him learn to schedule better so he can have time with friends and better grades he is more willing to go along with me. He is now back to homework first before the tv, video games and friends and because ALL of his classes had the "frequenlty missing homework" comment, he had to get his agenda signed by all teachers everyday for 5 weeks so he could not tell me there was no hw when there was. Now that we dropped having it signed he still uses it for the most part because he learned that it helped him in the long run. We also pay for raises in grades BUT also charge at the same rate so if one class goes up 5 points he gets $5 BUT if another goes down 7 points he owes us $2!

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 9:46 AM on May. 17, 2009

  • At our house, falling grades lead to cuts in activities; no babysitting or social activities until the grade comes back up.
    We also pay for grades (contact me directly for our logic). A=20, B=10, C=0 D=-10, F=20; there are bonuses for principles scholar award (based on GPA) and honor roll (based on letter grades)

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:25 AM on May. 17, 2009

  • I cried I felt it was a slap in the face for me. After a few days I went online and printed all homework and made sure he did it. I no longer trusted him saying "I'm done mom." I met with the assist. principle and got three teachers to give me ALL missed assignments and make up work. he was not happy at all but I MADE him do it. Signed him up for hrly private tutoring $$ ouch..not cheap but he needs it too. Made him begin saturday school too. He temporiarly lost his chore allowance so I'm waiting for his next report in a week or two. I told him if want u to flunk I will say DO IT. Good luck! I told him there is consequences for EVERYTHING.

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 6:59 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • Oh I also sat in his class room. That really made him mad.. hehehe. after I left he said everyone was trying to figure out who's mom that was. He said he stayed quiet.

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 7:02 PM on May. 17, 2009