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Whats best for my daughter?

My daughters father has been around 6 months out of 3 years. He has been in and out of jail. He is now just taking me for full custody because I refuse to agree on visitation woth him. For the longest time I stayed with him because I thought it was best for my daughter. Then I found out he was using heroin on top of the physical, verbal, and emotional abuse he put me thru while pregnant and infront of her up until 27 months. I've sheds many tears over the fact that my daughter does not have a true father and now that he has decided to step up... I am VERY scared. I honestly believe that she is better off without him because of the things he does and the person he has become.
I have a restaining order with both of our names on it but it says subject to family court...
I am terrified that he is going to get to see her and he is going to do something to hurt her!


Asked by Anonymous at 2:14 PM on May. 17, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • With the history you have described, assuming much of it is documented, you should not have trouble getting a family court judge to order supervised visitation only.  As your daughter grows up, teach her that her father loves her and wants to be part of her life, but that he has an illness (drug addiction?) and it has caused him to make some poor choices.  She can have a true father, while being protected at the same time.  If you have full custody, the example of strength you set for her will help her grow to be a confident young lady with plenty of self-esteem and self-worth.  I hope everything works out for both of you.


    Answer by DeTora_Family at 3:24 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • I would go for supervised visitation only. He will always have rights as long as he keeps trying. If you go into the battle with supervised visits as your solution it will show the court you have your daughters interests at heart and will be more likely to get what you ask for. It sounds like there is plenty of reason for him to not be alone with her. Good luck mama, I've been there and it's not easy.

    Answer by Marsella at 2:23 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • I totally agree with the previous poster (Marsella). Telling the courts you want supervised visits shows that you agree that your daughter needs to know her father, but that it is not safe for him to have her by himself. the fact that he has been in jail & that you have a restraining order will probably be the only proof you need. I've been where you are & I will keep you in my prayers!

    Answer by eeyoreplus4 at 2:34 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • Move to another state.sometimes its the only way out of it. He will not want to drive to meet you and eventually he will just let it go. You kno whats best for your daughter and your right she doesnt need to be around a creep like that. Do what you have to to protect her!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:22 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • You need to stop denying him visitation with his daughter. No matter what his past (and present) looks like, he IS her father, and he has rights. Ask for supervised visitation if need be, but you WILL eventually have to let him see the baby.

    Answer by Fallaya at 3:54 PM on May. 17, 2009