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When is the appropriate age to discuss with kids about gays/lesbians?

My older brother is gay and is loved and accepted by my parents and myself. My husband has a little more trouble with accepting this as ok. When would be the appropriate time to discuss this with my daughters who are 11 and 8 years old. Do I wait until they ask questions or do I initiate the conversation about it? They both have seen pictures of their uncle and his "friend" and have met them both.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:22 PM on May. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I guess when it comes up? I have a lesbian friend, and my 6 year old daughter knows she has a girlfriend and not a boyfriend. She thought it was weird, that's all. I didn't get into gory details.
    prettyrayray

    Answer by prettyrayray at 2:24 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • i say when they ask about it.because when they do ask about it obviously they've already heard something about it already and it isnt jus out of the blue.
    Desi2Sweet

    Answer by Desi2Sweet at 2:26 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • my MIL is a lesbian and my boys 4 and 2 are aware that they have 2 grandmas-not a grandma and grandpa living together. They haven't really noticed.
    JennRN09

    Answer by JennRN09 at 2:28 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • I'm pretty sure they know that their uncles 'friend' is really his partner if they see them on any sort of regular basis, kids aren't stupid and unless they have adults telling them that being gay is wrong they're not going to see anything weird about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:24 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • I agree with anon :24, especially the 11 year old.


    Christina807

    Answer by Christina807 at 3:26 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • From the time they are old enough to ask questions those questions should be answered. Children see and understand more than we think... You aren't doing them any justice by not explaining it. I do not plan on teaching my kids any difference between straghts and gays. Love is Love and that's what I am teaching them. My oldest turned 3 today and sees no difference between a mommy and a daddy being together and a mommy and a mommy... He isn't being taught that way
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 3:47 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • My kids and I have never had a real discussion about it. I have an uncle who is gay, and several friends who are gay, so they've just always been around gay people and don't see it as any different than straight people. I think, for people who want to raise their kids to think that it is perfectly fine and no different, it's best to address it in a very matter of fact, casual way, by just being friends with people who are and not making it a big deal. My mom, and this is what I am doing with my sons, would introduce me to friends, and then after I knew them long enough to really know and like the person would just one day say, "Oh, by the way, Sarah's gay." or "Oh, did I tell you that Mike and Joe broke up?" It made it very common and normal for me, and seems to be working the same way for my sons.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 4:10 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • KIDS WHO GROW UP VIEWING THIS TYPE OFLIFESTYLE REALLY FIND IT VERY ACCEPTABLE AND MOST OF THE TIME THEY DON'T EVEN ASK QUESTIONS, WHAT THEY SEE ANSWERS IT ALL, BUT IF YOU BELIEVE THEY ARE OK WITH THE CONCEPT, JUST WAIT TO SEE IF THEY HAVE ANY QUESTIONS THEN ANSWER IT WITH THE TUTH.
    older

    Answer by older at 4:18 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • My brother lives far away and the girls see him once or twice a year. His partner did come with him last winter and they see pictures of the two of them on vacation. My brother and his partner do not show affection in front of people so they do not give out clues. I am sure my oldest probably wonders but has not asked. They do not know anyone else that has a partner of the same sex.
    LovetoTeach247

    Answer by LovetoTeach247 at 10:00 PM on May. 17, 2009

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