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What can I do to get my lil man to stop biting, hitting, throwing and not listening?

I am the mom of an almost 3 year old. He went from sweet lil guy to biting, hitting, throwing and not listening. We do time-outs, take toys away, give positive reinforcement for things he does right and ask "why" when he hits/throws. Things are NOT getting better. Feel like he is the worst kid in his class at daycare which makes me concerned (and it makes me feel like a bad parent). HELP!!!!! What has worked for you? Any great posts, sites, tips, etc?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:07 PM on May. 17, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (7)
  • Consistency is the best thing.. Just keep the discipline consistent. Hopefully this is just a phase and itll pass soon. Good luck.

    Answer by BEXi at 6:12 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • I would recommend the book 1-2-3 Magic - it works wonders. Order it from Amazon or see if your library has it. I also think you should look into bach''s flower essences. Go to their site and read about it, he may have anger issues or separation anxiety. - the cheapest place to buy them is at

    Answer by used2chaos at 6:14 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • what changed in his environment? Did a family member pass, is there a new family member, or pet, new home, etc? Generally sudden behavior changes are related to stress. Find out what's causing it and help him to understand how he feels. Offer him positive ways to release energy, like giving him something he can build, rather than something he can destroy.

    When he starts hitting, throwing or biting, just hold him. (there is a hold used on autistic children sometimes that might help, I think it's called the basketball hold?) Once the fit passes, hug him and tell him you love him. There could be something that's really upsetting him, or bothering him (he might have an injury or a pain that he doesn't know how to express.) GL, hope everything works out!

    Answer by BisketLiss at 6:26 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • It may sound harsh but the only thing that worked 4 my little bitter was to bite her back!it only took once or twice! The other: get his attention by stopping him and making him look at you. NO johnny we don't throw things or hit. Maybe you need to grad him and make him look at you for him to slow down enough.

    Answer by mommyhero at 12:16 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • Pay careful attention to him to discover his triggers. That way you can help him to learn how to deal with his problems, avoid them. Keep telling him that it is not allowed!
    I knew a kid who bit and he wore a teether on his shirt with a soother string. When he was going to bite he was given the teether. He'd bite it and eventually stopped.

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 1:34 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • everytime she acts up...i tell her no sternly..i dont scream but its stern..its dominant...i count down the time i hit one if she has not calmed down she sits in time out..once she calms down i give her a hug and explain what she did. granted she cant undersatnd everything i say being 2.5 years old but it helps.

    Answer by moki1984 at 3:44 PM on May. 18, 2009

  • When my son's grandma went into the hospital, my son went into destructive mode. He doesn't know how to express himself, and at that time he would bite everyone. I can't count the times he has bitten or hit others. I just worked really hard with him and would put him in time out. Some people have told me to bite back and one of my friends put orajel on the outside of her girl's mouth when she bit. I didn't agree with that, but she wasn't my kid. My son eventually grew out of it. There are times when he will go after bigger kids, because they tease him and he doesn't know what else to do. Just be consistent and patient. He will get it.


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 11:36 PM on May. 18, 2009

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