Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do you think it is better for a child to have a mediocre father or not have a father at all?

I grew up without a dad and i hated it, but so many people say just having a dad around if he isnt that great is worse. My boyfriend can be a great dad but he is very shall we say bipolar, he can be so loving and kind or he can be totally distant and barely say anything, he can't seem to keep a job and he has very bad moods. He never yells and would never ever be physical I have learned to deal with this but I don't want to put my daughter through this rollercoaster.. do you think it is better that we stay together so she has a father or give her a more stable environment but not have a dad?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:02 PM on May. 17, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (5)
  • Yeah, I absolutely think a mediocre dad is better than no dad at all.

    My dad didn't really become a great dad until I was in High School. He was pretty mediocre before that, and yet, I still just cherished the good things we did together.
    mogencreative

    Answer by mogencreative at 10:07 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • As long as there is no abuse or flat out neglect on the father's end towards his children then yes I think that a mediocre father is better than no father at all. Some mothers are just mediocre (although to them they may be doing the best that they know how to do). We don't take their children from them for this reason only. It has to be more than them just being mediocre. A lot of parents learn as they go along. So just because they start out mediocre, that doesn't mean that they can't grow and change if they are willing to do so.
    PrayzAlphaOmega

    Answer by PrayzAlphaOmega at 10:23 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • You know, I am the daughter of a bipolar dad, and it was no picnic. I will be frank with you, the day my parents divorced, I actually felt enormously relieved. They were pretty mean to each other though, which made it difficult as well - but my dad's up and downs, his crazy times (that were unpredictable and loud), his random manias and his either unwillingness or inability to change was exhausting to deal with as a child. The child ends up parenting the parent in a lot of ways, and that is one thing I resent a lot. It's a personal call, but as a child of a totally imbalanced parent, I was glad to have a break, to be truthful.
    treehugginmama

    Answer by treehugginmama at 11:42 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • How old is your daughter?
    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 12:07 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • A mediocre father is better than no father, but it may even be better to have other father "figures" in your child's life to compensate.
    JPsMommy605

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 9:14 AM on May. 18, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.