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Why are there so many children who don't get adopted?

I have heard story after story of people who spend years and years looking to adopt a child or children. Why is it that our system here in the US is full of kids who are not adopted?

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Asked by aprilmommy123 at 10:27 PM on May. 17, 2009 in Politics & Current Events

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Answers (33)
  • That's a good question. I have a friend that adopted from China and she said that she didn't want to adopt in the states because there were too many strings attached and most adoptions are open adoptions where you provide the birth mother information for the first couple of years and send them pictures. She wasn't comfortable with that. I don't know how true that is, but that's what she told me.


    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:29 PM on May. 17, 2009


    Answer by MELRN at 10:30 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • I have heard it is expensive. I am interested in adoption, but I don't think my husband is too keen on it. Before we had our son he seemed up for it, but after asking him recently, he said he doesn't want kids when he can have some of his own. :-/

    I think it's a crappy excuse, but it's his choice. Hopefully in the next couple of years I'll be able to change his mind.

    Answer by LadyChamp at 10:31 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • It's expensive.

    There's a lot of red tape.

    And a lot of people want a BABY to adopt, not an 8 or 13 or 16 year old.

    Many people don't want anyone older than 5, or of another race (otherwise they tend to go out-of country to avoid the red tape), or with emotional problems (which many of these kids understandably have), or with disabilities.

    There would be much less children in foster care if more people were willing to broaden their horizons. :(

    Answer by _Jynxx_ at 10:34 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • My husband and I had considered adopting. We had been talked to some parents. Many who have also have started off as Foster Parents. The basic "felling" we get~ they tell us of the older children getting lost in a system of not being young, white(yes, sad but true), or having serious health issues that many adoptive parents do not feel prepared to take on. It's a heart breaking side of America. I wish more people would look at the crisis in America before they go off to Africa, etc to adopt.  But I haven't looked at international adoption. And I don't think I would. jmho


    Answer by grlygrlz2 at 10:35 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • cause people are not adopting the children from the US.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:36 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • I agree, grlygrlz.

    Unfortunately, most people who choose adoption end up wanting a young child (young enough to raises from nearly the start as 'their own'), who is 'whole' without any serious problems, and who will look at least somewhat like them.

    And it's a terrible thing. :(

    Answer by _Jynxx_ at 10:38 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • Because there are many children who have such high needs that many many couples cannot possibly be prepared and ready to cope with what it would take to love, support, and nurture them. If you have a child or teen acting out sexually, flinging fecal matter on your kitchen table, masterbating in front of your whole church, stole your credit card and charged it to the limits....there are a lot of kids in the system that I have seen that have huge serious problems. Including being homocidal to suicidal. So when people ask why not adopt older kids and why are there so many that are left in the system....I tell them the truth. End abuse, advocate for education in schools about what abuse does...but don't wonder why. The why is easy the how do we change it is the other story.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • Because a lot of the children in the system have parents who REFUSE to give up their parental rights. They would rather their child suffer in foster home after foster home than give up their rights. MOST kids in the system have been taken from unfit parents by CPS.
    The average age of children who are adopted is 7 years old. That means just as many kids over 7 yrs are adopted as kids under 7 yrs. So don't believe the crap about adoptive parents being to "selfish" to adopt an older child. The average between 0 and 17 is 8.5. So the average age being 7 is just about right.
    I think a big part of it is also money. It is NOT easy to adopt.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:44 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • Who said that these parents are selfish?

    Answer by _Jynxx_ at 10:51 PM on May. 17, 2009

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