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Why do people automatically assume that parents who don't spank their children have wild, bratty kids?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:36 PM on May. 17, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (18)
  • i've never heard that before. A lot of parents don't spank that I know and they're kids aren't brats. It just depends on how consistent a parent is with other kids of discipline, removing privileges and earned rewards. My kids grew knowing I reserved the right to change my mind about any thing given to them any time.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • well from personal experience my brother has 5 kids and does not believe in any form of discipline. And honestly his kids are monsters. But I think he's the exception to the rule. He doesn't even do time outs. I don't think there's one form better than another.. i think it depends on the kid.

    Answer by pagirl71 at 10:44 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • I don't assume that. In fact I applaud parents who don't spank. I think that it takes consistant parenting and more love to understand hitting is never a good option. Violence teaches nothing but more violence.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • i dont assume that with all but u have to admit there are a few that give the rest a bad name! like the lady in the store whos kid is screaming and flipping out because they want the toy and mom is saying do u want a time out? then the girl flips even more and smacks mom in the face and what does mom do? ok sweety if u really want the toy u can have it! but thats not every person who doesnt spank and ive seen some kids of parents who do spank just as bratty- it depends on the kid and on the parent

    Answer by lovelyli217 at 10:56 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • Why do some people assume that those who do spank are lazy and unloving? Assumptions run both ways. No matter what you do in parenting, somone is going to disagree, somone is going to bash, and there will allways be assumptions and streotypes.....

    The best you can do is do what YOU feel is RIGHT, be confidant in that decision while open to other options, and let unwanted comments and advice just fall to the wayside.

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 11:02 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • "When you assume you make an ass out of you and me"

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:13 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • I guess because if they think spanking is "violence," they might also think that a child has a right to "express themselves" as far as mouthing off ("free speech, they're just expressing their feelings") or throwing tantrums is just "expression" instead of behavior that needs to be curbed before it blossoms into total BS...Most of my friends do not spank, and most of their children are lovely. But their children also were quiet, mellow babies and toddlers, plus they use other forms of discipline that seem to work. My oldest - spanking was the only thing that worked! Words did absolutely nothing. My youngest seems confused when I spank him lol So we're working on another way for him. I don't think kids know what's best for themselves as much as their parents do, at least when they are still developing. So if a parent doesn't want to spank, one might wonder what boundaries ARE being set I guess? Just my assumption :P

    Answer by treehugginmama at 11:59 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • I've never heard that. It could be a generational thing too. I am in my 40's and when I grew up spanking was the norm. It was expected. So if you are hearing this from people my age and above that could be the reason.

    The other place you may hear it is in more conservative churches. They tend to take the passage from the Bible that says "spare the rod, spoil the child" very literally. I happen to disagree, although I tend to be more conservative in my faith. I believe that it is referring to parents who have no form of discipline.

    Answer by teamquinn at 12:11 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • Spanking a child doesn't create a more obediant child neccessarily, this may even create a resentful, angry child. Communication is the best way to deal with issues, even from a young age. I am against "spanking" it never helped me as a child, and I would not spank my children. There are many ways to deal with issues other than physically. Just because the child is your offspring doesn't give you the right to hit/spank him or her.
    I believe children grow up unruly when they do not feel loved or they have control over their parents--be dominant, confident and stern when directing discipline to your children, and they should respect this.

    Answer by lesbianmom_00 at 12:16 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • I don't think spanking makes kids more obediant. I spank my son, it seems to work with him for now. My dd does not respond to spanking, she is more responsive to timeouts. Proper parenting is knowing what works best for your kids. When I spank my son I don't hurt him, I'm calm and will not spank him if I'm feeling angry.
    I don't think that if you don't spank your kids are unruly. I figure that if your kids are unruly that you haven't discovered what works best for your child yet.
    I am consistant with my son as far as spanks. I don't do it infront of other's, that embarasses him. Numerous times a day he will have something he's to do. He know's that if he dosen't do it he will get a spank. I will ask, "Are you getting ready or need a spank." I've been consistant with it and he will opt to get ready instead of a spank. All I have to do now is ask him. Rarely ever spank him anymore.

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 1:00 AM on May. 18, 2009

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