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should I trust him?

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years but a year and a half ago I found out that he was flirting with women on a online dating site. I found out when I went on the dating site that we met on and created a fake profile. He responded to the profile thinking I was another woman. He sent his number and even talked about meeting up. When I confronted him, he gave me an excuse about how he thought I wasn't serious about him. A year and a half later, I still don't trust him. Should I?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:56 PM on May. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • this is a tough one...had he given you reasons to doubt him since then? I think you need to talk this out with him , let him know your fears, then make a choice to move on with him and then trust. Life is about trusting people , and sometimes you get hurt. But sometimes...you find bliss. good luck.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 10:58 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • Has he shown he's sorry and actually remorseful? i found a text with my SO and he said he was sorry than four months later I caught him cheating... so i dunno if i were you i wouldnt trust him but its been a year and a half you've already made the decision to look past that
    Breezy1988

    Answer by Breezy1988 at 10:59 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • He's a boyfriend. He owes you no loyalty until he takes vows that says he'll forsake all others. Until then he's a single man, thinks like a single man and acts like a single man. You accepted that when you decided to hang with him all these years without commitment. Why would you even think he should be faithful? To what? a relationship of convenience without commitment? That's just crazy. He can do what he wants and you can make up all the deceitful profiles you want to catch him but he's not doing anything a single man isn't expected to do. Single men check out women to see if they want to be with another one instead of the one they are using at the moment. Get him to commit or make him not want another woman. It's up to you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:06 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • No
    haston

    Answer by haston at 11:14 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • I set up a fake account on Myspace after suspecting my DH of not being the faithful type, and he asked the "girl" to meet him 3 days in a row after work. When I told him it was me he came home and threatened to take the baby from me when it is born and said he already contacted divorce lawyers. He made me feel guilty for setting him up and said I baited him and basically MADE him do it. We worked things out, but I still have trust issues. I notice he looks at A LOT of porn, and checks out a lot of girls' pictures on myspace/facebook from time to time.
    I guess you should guard yourself, look for signs, and be cautious, but don't completely stop trusting him. Try to build the trust. Just remember, he's more likely to cheat on you if the girl approaches him than for him to approach a girl and basically want sex.
    kels420

    Answer by kels420 at 11:17 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • Of course not! If you are expecting someone to tell you otherwise, I don't think you will get the answer you're looking for. It's time to move on, hon.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:33 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • If you have to ask strangers if you should continue to trust him tells me that you already know your answer. No, you shouldn't but are looking for others to tell you to give him the benefit of the doubt, get out and find someone who treats you how you should be treated, like a woman, not a piece of dirt!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:21 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • like they say once a cheater always a cheater

    i would not trust him
    lilmoma0127

    Answer by lilmoma0127 at 12:25 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • You've been together for 3 years.. that mean you two obvisouly been threw alot together.. right? Well.. that past and whats happened before shouldnt be the issue. The quetion is.. Do you love him now? Do you trust him now? Loving someone includes trusting them. If you answered yes, then there it is. If you answered no, then move on. You deserve the best.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • No way! If you were doing ok and he was doing this, all it'll take is a tiny blip of challenge, and he'll almost certainly do it again. In my book at least, that is a form of cheating. It is totally pointless to seek out, flirt with and solicit women in any way while you are committed to someone you supposedly love. No one does that unless they're sketchy.
    treehugginmama

    Answer by treehugginmama at 12:44 AM on May. 18, 2009

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