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when is the best time for the sex talk?

My daughter is 10 years old and she has been curious for years about creation of kids. My mom didn't give me the talk, but I wanted tell her before she heard it the wrong way or the wrong source. When is the best age?


Asked by my_jasnkiki at 11:21 PM on May. 17, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (16)
  • Oprah did a show about this recently, find out what she knows and what, specifically what she wants to know. At her age a diagram of the male and female anatomy (I think Oprah has these diagrams on her site), and only tell her what she wants to know, let her ask questions, but don't overload her with information she's not ready to hear.

    Here is the Oprah link where Dr. Berman walks a mom through the sex talk with her 10yr old daughter:

    Answer by texassahm at 11:45 PM on May. 18, 2009

  • I've talked with mine since they were preschoolers. Not in correct terms but close and about why body parts are private and who should see and not and touch and not. She's plenty old enough and past due really even. start by supplying her to prepare her with pads or tampons. That easily leads to why there used and what the body does with used and unused period blood.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:24 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • I would say the best age is 12+ years...i was 15 when i got pregnant because my parents never told me about sex. i was curious when i was about 12 years old. but if she is mature for her age i would tell her...there are books out for tweens about periods, sex, just have to look....

    Answer by Kermet09 at 11:26 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • I did talk to her about periods and body parts. Its the sex part that scares me.

    Answer by my_jasnkiki at 11:27 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • My bet is she knows more than you think. have a girls night in and just talk and tell you want her to know how important her respect of herself is to you. Ask her if she has any boys she really likes and if some one disrepected them, was mean verbally or physically to them how would she feel. Turn it into her own respect and sex and why emotions are involved and physical feelings.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:33 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • I totally agree with the first poster. My mom was very open with me, and explained to me that babies come out of a woman's vagina when I was in preschool (I had found mine, and wanted to know what it was for). I knew pretty early what sex was, and was taught about safe sex from the get go, and I waited until I was 17 to lose my virginity to a guy I ended up spending 2 years with, never had unprotected sex until my husband and I started trying for a baby, and have been closer for my mom for it. I plan to teach my son about his body as soon as he finds out he has a penis (he's an infant still). I think it's never too early to have an honest conversation about something so important. You don't want her getting misinformation somewhere else, and it's a good opportunity to make clear to her the rules in your family, and that the lines of communication will be open for any questions she has. Good luck! =)

    Answer by musicpisces at 11:36 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • Good Luck! I still haven't been able to bring myself to talk to my 9yo dd about periods, much less sex, so you're doing better than me, I think. However, the girls' night in sounds like a good idea. I've been thinking about watching My Girl with her...

    Answer by sparrowprincess at 11:59 PM on May. 17, 2009

  • I have been talking to my son about sex, his body, etc since he was a preschooler. I have always answered his questions but in terms to fit the age he was when he asked. I am very open and honest with my son and would rather have him get the info from me and not from friends that have no clue. I say the earlier the better. My son will be 13 in July and knows a lot about sex, prevention of STD's/pregnancy, etc. He also knows that I want him to wait as long as possible before having sex but if he doesn't then he has to be responsible enough to protect himself and his partner and be ready to take care of a child if something like that happens.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:04 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • This is not "a talk" This is a series of conversations that start practically at birth by teaching your child the proper names of body parts and bodily functions. Be open with your children and answer their questions honestly. Always be on the lookout for teachable moments; a neigbor with a litter of puppies, a pregant relative, etc.

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:39 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • I believe as soon as a child starts asking questions there is an age appropriate response for whatever sex question he or she has. My biological son is nine now and he understands that women have babies from their bodies. I didn't go into detail because he was three when he first asked me about that and has not asked for any more details since. As he becomes more aware of himself and girls I'm quite sure questions will roll in soon. Right now I'm more concerned with the fact that he's not that interested in practicing basic personal hygene.

    Answer by Nef8eria at 1:09 PM on May. 18, 2009