Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

what would YOU do?

what would you do if you're best friend (who is a girl) was also your boyfriend's best friend.. and they hung out alone all the time. would it piss you off?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:20 AM on May. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I think until he makes that vow to forsake all others, he's a single man and therefore can and will do what he wants. It's not up to you. If this is the way he behaves as a boyfriend, I shudder to think what kind of husband he'd make.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:26 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • if they were best friends as well before you guys got together i wouldn't worry about it. they know that friendship is all that's between them. just because you guys are together now doesn't mean he should break off his friendships with the opposite sex. but if she was your best friend first and they only became friends through you i would think that's a little weird

    Answer by r_elizabeth2290 at 12:27 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • My friend Amber had a situation like this. Her boyfriend's best friend was also her best friend. She would hang out with Danny (the best friend) all the time alone. They messed around constantly and Mike (the boyfriend) never knew about it. Eventually Mike and Amber broke up and now she is with Danny. So personally I would have a problem with it but only because I've seen the bad side of this kind of thing so my opinion is bias.

    Answer by Ash9724 at 12:29 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • yes they were best friends before me and him started dating.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • um as long as she was willing to hang out with the both of us i wouldn't mind.... my hubbys best friend is a girl, granted she's a lesbian it still prolly wouldn't bother me because she is willing to hang out with the both of us... the rule in my house is you can have friends of the opposite sex as long as everyone can meet and hang out and get along... if that can't happen screw it you aren't aloud to be friend with that person

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:50 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • I might be concerned about the emotional intimacy bit. I'd also wonder why is he spending so much time with her instead of you. If you're having a problem with it, you owe it to yourself and your relationship to discuss your feelings with him. He needs to be respectful of your feelings. If you're concerned, he needs to care about that. I'm not saying he should cease hanging with her, but if they are also your best friends, they should care about your feelings around this.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:11 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • I met DH through my girlfriends. He was friends with guys they were dating. When we got together my one friend sat on his lap, they had done this several times before. It wasen's anything sexual or flirtatious. I talked with both of them and said that I wasen't comfortable with it and they were both fine with it. My gf was worried that she had upset me. I told her it would only upset me if she contined to do it konwing how I felt.

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 1:24 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • My hubby had mainly girl friends before we married. Girls just liked being friends with him. I became friends with many of these girls and knew I could trust them. However, he understood that once we got married, his friendships with these girls would have to change. He couldn't be up talking with them into the wee hours of the night; he would let me know when he was hanging out with one of them and would invite me along as well; the girls were also made aware that these changes would happen once he was a married man, and they understood. I think you should talk to both of them about it, since they seem to be understanding.

    Answer by alynncole at 3:05 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • Also, my hubby and I are each others' best friends. We have other good friends outside of our relationship, but we cherish each others' friendship more than others.

    Answer by alynncole at 3:07 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • I'd be very bothered by this and don't think I'd stand for it. But that's just me. Only way I'd let them hang out together is if I was there too.

    Answer by LadyEb at 9:05 AM on May. 18, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.