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I'm seriously at a loss. Any advice?

My 3 year old son is seriously getting out of control. He throws temper tantrums constantly. When he doesn't get his way or what he wants RIGHT NOW he throws himself on to the ground and screams bloody murder. He refuses to listen to me. I've tried spanking. He laughs at me. I've tried time outs. Those didn't work either. If I spank him any harder I'm afraid someone might think I abuse him. I know it's my fault. I did spoil him when he was younger. And whenever he did something wrong I just let him get away with it because I thought he didn't understand. Well, now he does and it's gotten out of hand! Any advice on how to correct my mistakes before it's really to late? Thanks in advance!

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:37 AM on May. 18, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (5)
  • i'm in the same boat. the only thing i can suggest is what i'm trying now, taking away tv, toys, outings, having to spend time alone in her room (she hates that), take away snack time (unless he really is hungry in that case not something fun), and these so far have been working to an extent. but half the time if i tell her i'm gonna spank her she just laughs and says ok mommy come get me and runs off like its a game. and then i have to calm myself down b/c i'm afraid when i do get ahold of her it'll be more than a spanking. i really don't know if it'll work in the long run but i so hope it does

    Answer by vabchmommy at 12:39 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • I had the same problem with my little boy. I was at the end of my rope trying to figure out how to deal with the screaming. Then I found something that worked: ignoring him. I know it sounds crazy and like he won't care, but if done consistantly it works! When he is getting out of hand tell him where you stand (ie "No I will not give you candy") then walk away. He knows what your answer is, and that is that. The hard part is that he won't just magically stop screaming. The temper tantrum will continue for what seems like hours. But he will get bored and move on. It may take several weeks, but he will get the idea. Explain that he cannot act that way, and when he does he will get no attention. This age it becomes about control more than anything else. He thinks that yelling the loudest will win the fight. When you take the fight away there is nothing to scream about. When you go back and forth with the fight it just fuels him.

    Answer by AnnaMac at 1:19 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • I toke my boy to the Dr.

    Answer by mandyandthree at 10:50 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • 3 year olds are awful; this is a normal part of development.
    When you strike another human being, you are sending your child the message that sometimes a problem can be solved with violence; so if you spank, make sure that this philosphy matches with yours.
    Most important is to be consistent with your discipline; you may use the same punishment for the same "crime" 50 times, but it will eventually sink in.
    What worked best for us was a combination of isolation/time out, putting a beloved item in the closet for an hour, and reward charts.

    Answer by rkoloms at 12:00 PM on May. 18, 2009

  • motivating with fear doesnt work at any age. you've gotta be someone your child WANTS to please. do something he likes to do with him everyday and while he is having fun with you tell him you love him and what you expect from him. dont lecture - just mention it everyday and spend time one on one with him everyday. be calm and disappointed when he misbehaves and the next time you play tell him how you felt disappointed but you love him no less. little kids understand feelings better than they express them.
    hope that helps

    Answer by TiffanyQ at 12:12 AM on May. 19, 2009

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