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Where is the fine line between nurturing a spoiling?

My 2yo dd is demonstrating "spoiled" behavior, demanding I do things (such as take her to the zoo) "Right NOW!" I have always put my children as a high priority in my life. I love to teach and nurture. I am taking care of them the best that I can, and that involves many trips to the zoo, library, and various other places I find to be beneficial to their growth and development. However, where's the fine line between loving, nurturing, and teaching one's children and spoiling them? I want my children to appreciate what they have including the time and attention from me. I'm a loving mom, but having my 2 year old boss me around and make demands is unacceptable. Her expectations are a little too high. Now what? I told her today that I want her to appreciate the things I do for her, and she said, "I do Mommy." I feel like talking to her about her behavior is a good place to start. How do I balance it though?

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Asked by Senae at 12:53 AM on May. 18, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (3)
  • Make the fun things "like going to the Zoo" be a reward for good behavior and special treats and not a day to day based and the library can be something you do weekly make a scheduled day like you would gymnastics or dance. That way it is not somehting she expects you to do. You might try making a rewards chart and when she goes so many days getting a sticker on it she gets to pick an outing she wants to do.

    Answer by abbibaileylily at 1:04 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • I know what you are talking about. Sometimes it seems as if we want to make sure that they are always okay, so much so, that we forget that we are only human, and we have needs too. I have finally come to the conclusion that it is more beneficial for him to NOT always get all his "needs" met the instant he wants them. It is okay for him to wait a while so that I can finish what I am doing, whether it is combing my hair, or taking a shower, etc. It will teach him patience, self-control, etc. Of course, with a 2 year old, that doesn't necessarily work all the time, but he is getting so much better. He is not screaming all the time...

    Answer by bellasrose71008 at 1:04 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • Nuturing, you're incharge, spoiling, DD is in charge and dictates what is to happen.
    Talking to her about her behaviour is a great place to start. Teach her that it's not appropriate for her to demand things of you. She may ask not demand. This past christmas started the, May I's in our house. The kids would start the day with gimmies and I want I want's. I told them that that is not way to talk to me and daddy and we will not listen to that. They now say things like, "Mommy may we go to the park." Occasionally they slip up and start to make demands. I just remind them about what we've talked about.
    My son (4) has privelidges taken away from him when he's deserving of a punishment. He started taking punishments away from me. No hugs, no playing with him, etc.... I tell him that it's my job as his mommy to disipline him and it's not acceptable of him to punish me. We're still working on that one though.

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 1:10 AM on May. 18, 2009

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