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Am I wrong to enforce this?

The rule: SD (14) has to clean her bathroom every week. Don't care which day, as long as it's done by 10 PM each Sunday night.
The problem: We went to eat dinner with my dad at 5 PM, then DH had to do some stuff at his work after. He dropped me off & I insisted that he take the kids (SD & DD, 13 mos.) with him because I needed some alone time. I was to the point where I was about to snap because I am sick of everyone being up my butt all the time about everything. I also wanted to get some things done, because no one will help me without a huge battle. So he did (after a yelling fight), and they didn't get home till 10 PM. SD had not cleaned her bathroom. She went & cleaned it, keeping her up till 11:15 (bedtime is 10:30).
This has been an ongoing issue, & DH has agreed with me that she should not wait until the last minute, & that it was not acceptable to extend her bedtime so she can get it done.
(Continued below)

 
emslala

Asked by emslala at 1:53 AM on May. 18, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (13 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • Well I do not have a teenager, but my 6 yr old has to empty the bathroom trash and wipe down the sink every morning before school. So if my 6 yr old can manage to do her chores EVERY DAY then your 14 yr can sure as heck manage once a week. Not only would I enforce it, I'd give her more to do. my 6 yr old also has to do her own laundry(with my help of course).
    rosesNclovers

    Answer by rosesNclovers at 2:07 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • (Continued from above)
    But now, DH is saying that it's ok that she didn't get it done, & that she should not be disciplined. Why? Because I "made them" go out to eat with my dad & I "forced him" to take them to his work with him (these were not his work hours, only a side trip to pack some things because his office is moving). So since I kept them out, it is my fault that she didn't get it done.
    I believe that she should be punished, because she could have done it yesterday or any evening this week. She doesn't get homework (school policy), so she does nothing in the evenings or weekends. This is the ONLY chore she has.
    Am I wrong to enforce this rule?
    emslala

    Answer by emslala at 1:58 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • No, you're not wrong. Even if some things came up on Sunday night, she had plenty of time to get it done before then. The last time I checked, there were seven days in a week. If she hadn't put her only chore off until the last minute, this whole mess wouldn't have happened. Between school, homework, sports, and generally being themselves, a teenagers life can be a little hectic (at least to them), but part of growing up is learning to prioritize. Just tell your husband and daughter that procrastinating was what got her into trouble. If she can't do her chores on time, maybe you can't do her laundry or take her to the mall on time.
    3_is_enough

    Answer by 3_is_enough at 2:07 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • You are not wrong to enforce this rule, but punishment might be over kill at this moment. I think that you need to have a sit down conversation about your expectations with your daughter. Pick a day for her so that she knows that on this day she must clean her bathroom first thing after school before she does anything else. This she can not forget and if she doesn't do it then ground her for a day. If she is unable to do it on that day because of a family function then speak with her and let her know that she will be doing it the following day after school. Don't forget to praise her for a job well done.
    KadensMom907

    Answer by KadensMom907 at 2:14 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • Ah, but by giving her till 10PM Sunday, you're guaranteeing that it won't get done till then. Might be better to set aside time for that work each week. A bathroom can be done in 15 minutes, and that includes cleaning the tub.

    I'm not saying you're wrong...but it's really something that shouldn't surprise you either.

    I also agree that she should be doing additional chores if there's no homework.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:30 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • your totally not wrong about it infact you should give her more to do. she needs to learn to prioritze her time and realize that her duties at home are just as importnant as her friends and school. i agree with the other answer and think u should sit her down and explain whats expected and how this relates to the real world. Dont attack her though or she will miss the bigger picture
    ProudMammaMia

    Answer by ProudMammaMia at 3:15 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • i wouldnt make her but thats me id make her clean her room and if i made anyone do bathroom everyone would pitch in not just her
    mom2jade

    Answer by mom2jade at 3:31 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • I think the only thing you did wrong is to not have a specific day it needs to be done. Of course, if you don't have a specific day to do it, they will do it last minute. Check her schedule out, a day she has the least activities to do, that is the day she has to do it.
    Hartbrayka

    Answer by Hartbrayka at 3:36 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • I would pick a specific day for her to do it. Like the other moms have said if you give her all week then she will always wait until the last minute, that's any child. I would not punish her this time but having her stay up past her bedtime to make sure it gets done is not going to kill her.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 5:41 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • My son is still young .......When he becomes old enough to clean he will also be put on a shedule...I would say it is not wrong to punish her........She needs to learn to organize her time and get this chore done before the last minute....Maybe a good idea would be to set her down and explain why it is so important to you that this chore is done in a timely manner......I know that when I hand in a college assignment late the policies don't change, no matter the reason for the tardiness. In life we do not get second chances like this to make up for lost time...Your daughter needs to understand this and realize it is not ok to wait until the last minute to do her chores......lol
    mirakoboy

    Answer by mirakoboy at 5:59 AM on May. 18, 2009