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I need some manipulation pointers, (teens)not how to manipulate, but how to handle it /deal with it/ help to change the behavior around, so it doesn't become a pattern?

I am divorced, son plays me against father. I have been to much of a friend and a go between in the past. I need to be firm, get message across in a kind way that manipulating behavior will not be tolerated by me. RESPECT, like the song says, needs to be given and bad attitudes /disrespect need to be thrown out the door. Broken laws of the past+ poor friend choices = TROUBLED times ahead!!! Help, PLEASE!!!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:35 AM on May. 18, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (3)
  • The way you do that is to communicate with the father all the time. He can only play the two of you if you don't know what the other one said. So get past any hurtful issues and make sure you and him are talking about everything. The minute he says well, dad said, then you call up dad and ask. Let dad know that if he says , well, mom said, then tell him to call you. Just because youre not married to him doesnt mean youre not still raising this child together. This is the key.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 8:52 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • Keep in communication with their father and get on the same page. DO NOT react to the kids manipulation.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:01 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • The key is consistency in parenting at both houses. You & his dad must be on the same page, or it will continue to happen.
    You & the dad may need to start counseling on how to effectively co-parent, or find a mediator who can be a disinterested 3rd party. Your state's health department or your county will probably have a list of resources.
    Good luck, mama!
    emslala

    Answer by emslala at 2:32 PM on May. 18, 2009

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