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People have told me.. Don't "beg" your husband for another baby, if he's not ready he'll end up resenting you.. But what happens when..

I start resenting him because he doesn't want another one. And each time we set a time a few months later.. he keeps changing his mind and decides he'd rather do this.. or he'd rather do that. And he wants another one- just not right now. BUT if we don't get pregnant by the end of the year then we will have to wait for 4 years or I would have to put the nursing program on hold. I was born to be a mom and I have been ready for another since my son was about 6 months old.. 10 months ago.

So what do I do when I start resenting my husband for changing his mind so much?

Does it make it okay as long as he doesn't resent me or a baby?

I'm sick of feeling like its always about what he wants. I have to change what I want, my dreams for him. I'm tired of this when I married him and he said he'd never leave this town.. I said fine. He said I can make new dreams. I'm tired of making new dreams for my life.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:30 AM on May. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • And don't tell me to get a puppy.. I did. It didn't take the place of wanting a baby.
    Its a dog. Not a child
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • He actually told you that you can make new dreams? You know what? He doesn't sound like he respects you already. Do you use bc? Tell him you're going off of it and what happens happens, he can deal with it. Sounds like you do everything he wants.
    ajguinn

    Answer by ajguinn at 10:34 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • Yes, he told me I can make new dreams. That hurt me so bad but I put it behind me.
    No, I don't take bc. We wear condoms when we have sex. And he refuses to have sex if we don't wear one.

    I am just getting so frustrated.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:38 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • I'm not sure you married the right person if your dreams for the future lie in such opposite directions.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:50 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • I've seen divorces happen because of this. Best to curb the baby obsession for a while. Reason - why is your husband not wanting a child? Financial instability? A lot of stress already (including the child already born)?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:54 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • You don't have to ask him permission to get pregnant if you want a baby and he doesn't...get pregnant anyway what is he going to do get rid of the baby no you need to do this scretly in your mind just go along with him and ooops you some how got pregnant I mean have lots and lots of sex and tell him you must have lost track of time and miscaculated. GL

    Don't argue anymore or you will just be going in circles about this do what you want for a change. GL Or if you want you can wait until your first child is almost 2 then have anothe,r too close together makes it harder on you being a mommy, but that is totally up to you. Have fun!
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 11:00 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • Finish that nursing program. Take time and see how your relationship progresses. Its not good to have another baby when your marriage sounds shaky-and it does. You have to reach a compromise and you can't insist on having your way when it involves bringing another life into the world. Take time,please. Don't rush. Maybe you are "born to be a MOM" but you are also a WIFE> Take time.
    Lindalu2

    Answer by Lindalu2 at 11:06 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • "You don't have to ask him permission to get pregnant if you want a baby and he doesn't...get pregnant anyway what is he going to do get rid of the baby no you need to do this scretly in your mind just go along with him and ooops you some how got pregnant I mean have lots and lots of sex and tell him you must have lost track of time and miscaculated.

    He can't stop you from getting pregnant. But you can't stop him from bailing out either. Please don't trick your husband.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:08 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • Lindalu2- We don't have a shaky marriage at all. This is really our only downfall is he expects me to change my dreams and doesn't want another baby for a few years. Other then that we have a GREAT marriage.

    And I'm not going to trick him. I'm not like that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:11 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • Sometimes, you have to compromise in a marriage...regardless as to how strong the need is, you have to think realistically. What's his reasons for not wanting another baby right now? Is he bonding with the child you guys have together? Did you guys discuss having more than one child before marriage? Does he think that you guys aren't financially capable of having another child?
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 11:51 AM on May. 18, 2009

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