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People have told me.. Don't "beg" your husband for another baby, if he's not ready he'll end up resenting you.. But what happens when..


I start resenting him because he doesn't want another one. And each time we set a time a few months later.. he keeps changing his mind and decides he'd rather do this.. or he'd rather do that. And he wants another one- just not right now. BUT if we don't get pregnant by the end of the year then we will have to wait for 4 years or I would have to put the nursing program on hold. I was born to be a mom and I have been ready for another since my son was about 6 months old.. 10 months ago.

So what do I do when I start resenting my husband for changing his mind so much?

Does it make it okay as long as he doesn't resent me or a baby?

I'm sick of feeling like its always about what he wants. I have to change what I want, my dreams for him. I'm tired of this when I married him and he said he'd never leave this town.. I said fine. He said I can make new dreams. I'm tired of making new dreams for my life.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:49 AM on May. 18, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (13)
  • Go off your birth control and poke holes in all the condoms :-)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:54 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • You need to tell him about the resentment you are feeling, just be honest with him.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 10:56 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • whatever you do, dont do what the first person said that'll just cause big problems in your marriage if he finds out. I agree with Sammiesmom tell him how you feel. Dont put nursing school off, go for it and everything will fall in place when it is supposed to
    Krystle21

    Answer by Krystle21 at 11:02 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • oh yeah I think this is more of a "relationship" section question. You might get more responses there
    Krystle21

    Answer by Krystle21 at 11:03 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • Tell him exactly what you said here, that your sick of changing your dreams. marriage has to be a compromise for both of you. It seems like your the one who is changing all your dreams and what you want and he needs to be willing to change some things for you also
    mommyBrooke849

    Answer by mommyBrooke849 at 11:04 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • Tell him you reall y want another child- that it is selfish of him to not let you child have a brother or sister to grow up with. I was unhappy as a only child. When other kids had family to play with when we where snowed in and birthdays/ holidays. Tell him you dont want ur child to be lonley and they would have each other when you die.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:08 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • Go your whole life making compromises this fundamental to your life and end up old and tired and bitter and a misery to yourself and everyone around you. Or get the balls to tell him you are tired of living HIS dreams and only HIS dreams, and either make compromises that swing in your favor once in a while, or get a new life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • When it comes to children if it is not right for both you it is wrong for both of you. You want him to be an active father that cannot be forced on him. Part of being married is compromise but when it comes to having children there is not compromise you both need and should be ready before having one. This is not getting a puppy having a child changes everything. Are you really going to be able to care for more children while in nursing school? Why not wait 4 more years? Seems you already are resenting him and are mad at him. You two have some serious issues in your marriage and probably shouldn't have anymore until you resolve them. A baby won't fix the problems could make them worse.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • We don't have serious issues in our marriage though. Honestly we get along great. This is our only bumpy spot.

    Why not wait 4 years?? Because I don't want my son to be in kindergarten before having another child. And I will be in the program in 2 years and by then this baby would be 1 and it would be doable. Personal preference.

    I don't want a new life. I love my husband. I just hate that people tell me he'll end up resenting me.. when I'm the one doing the resenting because he doesn't want another one right now.


    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:15 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • what are his reasons for not wanting another one? has he told you? sometimes men have weird reasons for things and if you try to explain to him that his reasoning is wrong (just dont put it in those words! lol) then maybe he will come around
    mommyBrooke849

    Answer by mommyBrooke849 at 11:39 AM on May. 18, 2009

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