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im on a role.

why do kids seem so competitive these days???why are the parents following suit?

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raineydays377

Asked by raineydays377 at 10:55 AM on May. 18, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (4)
  • surrenderBecause the stakes are so high...? Plus, tt seems as though we're all stuck thinking there isn't enough of anything to go around; so, it's all a race, too. Part of what feeds it is we're inundated with "studies" of what works best for fill-in-the-blank. And, the studies are EVERYwhere: online, in the paper, on the 24 news channels... I worked in a school system for one year and dealt with more 8 year-olds with diganosed anxiety disorders. And when talking to a parent, you understand: Jimmy has piano on Monday; travel soccer on Tuesday; boy scouts on Wednesday; math club on Thursdays and fill-in-the-blank on Friday. If I were 8 with that schedule after school each day, I'd be a little on edge, too!  We've lost our balance...

    jonosmama

    Answer by jonosmama at 11:11 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • There's a scary undercurrent that has reinforced the idea that there is only one #1 spot, and if you're not in it... Well, sucks for you. Effort isn't what's emphasized anymore; it's all about being #1. In addition, we're in a society that is completely impatient. We want it RIGHT now. I know I'm guilty of being a little perturbed when the line at a fast-food joint isn't working... And, please don't let the microwave malfunction! Our kids can't handle disappointment, and they don't have the patience to work for much, especially if the #1 spot is taken. I grew up knowing I wouldn't get every single thing I wanted, but that was no excuse to NOT try. It helped to build character, but our kids don't often get that message. Life is over if they don't get into the #1 college pick, and God help us if they can't have the b'day party like they saw on "Sweet 16!" I've written a lot, and I hope to read some other opinions.
    jonosmama

    Answer by jonosmama at 11:19 AM on May. 18, 2009

  • Is competition always bad? Don't you celebrate your kids' wins in sports and academic compettitions?
    The better grades they get in high school, the more scholarship money they will be eligible for.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 3:10 PM on May. 18, 2009

  • I'm not saying competition is bad, and I'm the first to celebrate any accomplishment. (Cuz I am the party queen planning a Kindergarten graduation party as I type!) However, I'm not teaching my sons that winning is EVERYthing. Winning/being #1 is great; and, it deserves to be celebrated. But, it's not the end of the world if you DON'T win. What's most important is how hard you've worked/effort and following through to the end while . I heard it said during fall soccer: It's for fun; it doesn't matter if you win or lose. What I tell my boys is: Winning is great. There's nothing wrong with winning, it's kind of why we keep score. Goals are what you want to make. However, what's most important is how well you play with others and to have fun while playing. You don't want to stop trying to score because you're team is losing because it could turn around. And, they don't have to be rude to others. Sorry, it's long!
    jonosmama

    Answer by jonosmama at 11:20 PM on May. 18, 2009

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