Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Would you date this man?

I am just curious to learn why Im so crazy about this man. Also why dose it bother me so much when he dosent call me back right away or answer when I call. He is 43 and lives at his parents house. The first four months of our relationship he was working at a job he he just gotten a couple months before we started going out. He lost that job in Sept 07 and got a job in July 08 that only lasted three weeks. He is an alcholoic and has been going to meetings and sober for one month. He is great to my kids and we really click. Days like today when I have not heard from him just drive me crazy to the point I get physically sick and its hard for me to take care of every day task. What is wrong with me???

Answer Question

Asked by angie729 at 2:43 PM on May. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Level 5 (67 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • no I would not date a 43 year old alchoholic man who can not keep a job and lives with his parents.

    Answer by pagirl71 at 2:45 PM on May. 18, 2009

  • umm... dont want to offend you but it sounds like you need to get your priorities straight, i would stay just friends with him but I wouldnt date him until he gets completely sober... you dont know what kind of a drunk he is, if hes violent or what. And dont be so obsessive that you cant live without him

    Answer by Breezy1988 at 2:46 PM on May. 18, 2009

  • No, I wouldn't, and you deserve better.. He needs to get his life in order before he can add anyone to it. It's not fair to you or your children to drag you through his ups and downs. Move on, there's someone out there for you, it's just not him. JMO

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 2:47 PM on May. 18, 2009

  • i ditto pagirl71

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 2:50 PM on May. 18, 2009

  • No, he needs to straighten out his ass....

    Maybe you like him because you think you can "help" him...

    Don't know, but he does not sound to me to be a winner..

    Answer by Dannee at 2:54 PM on May. 18, 2009

  • I would not at all. I would stop worrying about that man. I know you may have been feelings for him but he needs to get his act together. Right now in his life he doesn't sound like he is ready for a relationship. He needs to get his priorities straight. I think that you should just move on. I know that may be hard to hear but its for the best.


    Answer by akmami0f4 at 2:57 PM on May. 18, 2009

  • One word: CO-DEPENDENCY

    You have issues on your own to work out. Perhaps jealousy, insecurities, lack of parental priorities, who allows an alcoholic near her children? You said he is great to my kids. Wake up he is a bad influence and is not healthy for children to be near. So put your big girl panties on and put your kids interst before your needs of being needed.

    I don't mean to sound bash but when mother make mistakes that can negatively impact her children lives, it just makes me mad.

    What is wrong with you that you feel the need to go crazy over this loser not calling you?

    Answer by bebita at 3:18 PM on May. 18, 2009

  • I would have to say I wouldn't. He doesn't seem to have all his duckies in a row quite yet.

    Answer by carliemarie1015 at 3:20 PM on May. 18, 2009

  • your likea lot of women.
    you want to take care of feel like you can make his life better and straighten him out. but it wont happen.
    obviously his parents enable him to be this way...he needs to be independent and you can not teach him that. in the end he's a terrible example for your kids and you shouldnt let them get close

    Answer by moki1984 at 3:37 PM on May. 18, 2009

  • Could it be that he makes you feel good about yourself? He doesn't seem like a great catch, but you seem to know this from your description of him. Could you possibly find someone else? Join clubs or volunteer groups or take classes. I don't think there is anything wrong with you, but I wonder if counseling would help you get in touch with what is going on in your mind?

    Answer by Bmat at 3:38 PM on May. 18, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
Processional Song

Next question overall (Toddlers (1-2))
how much is enough?