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would you have SIL be Godmother even if she actively hated you?

My SIL has badmouthed me behind my back for 3 yrs now. Hubby wants her to be Godmother to our baby basically to avoid his family freaking out. I say no way is that fair or appropriate and that i would like my cousin to do it. What do you think?


Asked by Anonymous at 6:02 PM on May. 18, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • If showing him this does not help see if you can take him to a family counsler just for one session even so he can hear from a profesional what it would do emotionally to your children to be placed with some one that has sorrible things to say about their mother if heaven forbid something happens to you. It will be very hard to hear, but if it helps your children it is worth it. While you are there discuss what her saying these kinds of things to your children now could do to them. I don't think she needs to say you are the best mother and person she ever knew, but she needs to respect that you are married to her brother and the mother of his children. Her doing this is horrible. It is like the old saying goes if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all. This is espically true when their are children around and it is their parents you are talking about.

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 12:55 PM on May. 19, 2009

  • Answer to your title: No way.

    Answer to your question:
    Is this a serious religious concern for you? If so, a 'Godparent' accepts responsibility for the new child's soul. A person who hates the woman who bore that child is not qualified for this awesome responsibility.

    Is this a social convention? Then choose two Godmothers, one from each family, and be done with it.

    Answer by DanieT at 6:14 PM on May. 18, 2009

  • I would never want to leave my children to someone who thinks poorly of me. It is not even fair to ask you to make some one that acts like they hate you to be the godparent to your children. You need to be allowed to pick someone who will raise the children they way you want them raised, and who will help them remember you in a positive light if anything should hppen to you.

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 6:15 PM on May. 18, 2009

  • The way not they way sorry for typo

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 6:16 PM on May. 18, 2009

  • NOOOO!!!! ask yourself this. do you want her to raise your child? ever?

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:23 PM on May. 18, 2009

  • This is too big of a decision to make based on avoiding family drama.


    Answer by MAUREEN55 at 6:24 PM on May. 18, 2009

  • I couldn't do it. I want someone that knows me, likes me, hopefully even loves and/or cares for me so that I know they'd tell my children about me, to tell them about how much I love them and even death can't take that away.
    Maybe you'll have to both agree to disagree and pick someone that's not in either of your families?

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 6:53 PM on May. 18, 2009

  • nope, I wouldn't do it

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:07 PM on May. 18, 2009

  • Think of it this way....let's say something happens to you and your child is left with your SIL...

    Would your SIL have nice things to say about you to your child? Do you want your child to abide in love for you or be taught that you 'weren't so great'?

    Answer by TLALONDE16 at 7:38 PM on May. 18, 2009

  • NO WAY!!!

    Why would you entrust your baby to someone who has been so horrible to you?

    Answer by prettylilrae at 7:49 PM on May. 18, 2009