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How to make sure ex's mom is never left alone with our dd

My ex boyfriend and I are on good terms with each other. We have a 10 month old dd. He lives with his mother, and I am not on good terms with her. Besides that, she has health problems that would prevent her from EVER being alone with our dd (severe obesity, causing joint problems, diabetes, trouble breathing, can't pick herself up if she falls on the floor/ground, etc).

I want to know how I can make sure my dd is never left in her care? She lives with me, but if there's ever an emergency with me, she'd go with her daddy. But if there's an emergency with her daddy, I don't want her left with my ex's mother.

My family is across the country.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:20 PM on May. 18, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • Put it in your custody agreement that on the days the parents have them, if they are for some reason incapable of watching them they MUST call the other parent and give them the option of watching the child before allowing anyone else to.
    catwalksymphony

    Answer by catwalksymphony at 2:04 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • Find someone that you trust and designate them as your emergency contact and talk with your ex about the situation. Explain to him that even though it is his mother you are worried about her ability to safely care for your daughter if something was to happen to either of you. You two should be in aggreeance if possible about who gets the kid when something major goes down.
    momofkearra

    Answer by momofkearra at 9:23 PM on May. 18, 2009

  • Write up a letter stating what you want and have it noterized at the bank. Keep a copy in your house, in like a safety box, and give one to the person who you want to care for your child if something is to happen to you.

    mrsmamaj

    Answer by mrsmamaj at 9:26 PM on May. 18, 2009

  • It depends on if you are looking to just make sure there is an agreement all the way around, or if you are trying to be nice. If you just want an agreement, then I agree with mrsmamaj, and write something up. If you are trying to be nice, I'd go with the concerned approach. Tell your ex that you are concerned that with her health problems, caring for your child might be too much for her and you'd like to avoid putting that stress on her. Ask him to help you figure out a solution so you don't have to burden her with it, if a situation ever arises.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:45 PM on May. 18, 2009