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For moms who are currently in an open relationship: How do you make it work?

This question is NOT for people who are against this idea, I don't want anyone bashing anyone else.

I am curious about the concept.

Before I ever got married, I always said I was against open relationships because my parents always claimed to have one, but it was really just cheating to get back at the other person for cheating and was full of jealousy and deceit. As an adult, I have learned that theirs was not a true open relationship.

Before we got married, my husband and I were more open about sex and sexuality, but as a married couple I have told him I don't want him doing anything with anyone, guy or girl, and that I won't either. I worry about all the what-ifs. I was talking to a friend tonight who said all her relationships have been open cause to her it makes sense.

I have chosen to go anon to ask this question, because I don't want to be bashed for asking it. If you need to answer the question anon, go ahead.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:06 PM on May. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Define 'open' a little better for us...do you mean completely open where each parnter is free to date/sleep with anyone they wish or would you include couples that are swingers in this as well?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 PM on May. 18, 2009

  • I think it depends on your idea of open...like PP said...are you talking about just freedom to do whatever or a threesome type thing??
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 PM on May. 18, 2009

  • I personally don't do this, just is not for me, but hey, if it works for you and your S/O, I say GO FOR IT! Yea, that type of relationship isn't the "norm" and obviously isn't for everybody, but I'm definately not against it for those couples that find that it works for them, more power to them!
    carliemarie1015

    Answer by carliemarie1015 at 11:37 PM on May. 18, 2009

  • he would do something with a guy if you let him?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:43 PM on May. 18, 2009

  • LMAO anon :43
    Breezy1988

    Answer by Breezy1988 at 12:26 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • I have an open relationship. It works for me. I've been married and was cheated on in my marriages. I just can't deal with that. This way I know what my SO is doing and he knows when I'm with someone else. I don't like being with anyone else but at times it turns him on so much to think of me being with someone else that I either do it or make him think I did. I'm not thrilled that he wants other women but that's just the nature of the beast. He loves chasing women. He doesn't always do anything once he catches them but it thrills his little heart to chase so I let him have at it. He always comes back. He's comfortable with me. He trusts me as a person and knows I'd never do him any harm. What we have together is worth the inconvenience of knowing he is off being a testosterone king! It makes him happy though so I just welcome him home after a busy "run" and comfort him when the women shoot his advances down! lol the baby!!!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:25 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • OP here: I meant open as in either partner can do whatever with whoever.

    And to the anon who asked, yes my husband would do something with a guy if I let him, and I would be with girls if it was okay.

    He and I aren't "open" right now, but I'm contemplating it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:44 PM on May. 19, 2009

  • I have an open relationship. We make it work because we've learned to talk alot of our feelings out, learned to get over and past jealousy, and how to support each other in getting our different needs met. For us there is two levels of being open, sexually and romantically. We are sexually open. We've done the threesomes and a little swinging but having our own play partners works best for us. Technically we are open romantically but not poly, much to my dismay. lol I happen to have very strong feelings for my PP that my DH knows about so that's where the technical comes in. For us we went open because certain needs weren't being met and can not be met in a monogamous relationship. It was a strong enough drive that we sat down and talked. I also think it helps that we both accept and love the other for who they are instead of who we want them to be.
    isabellalecour

    Answer by isabellalecour at 4:09 PM on May. 19, 2009

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