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What do you guys think?

My daughters birthday is this sat, and My SIL has always been the one to plan it and I never objected to it, cuz she can be a real brat if you don't let her do something she wants... She instead of causes trouble I just let her plain the partys. Well this year, I am the one plaining the party and taking control so to speak... She sent me a message completley not realted to my daughers birthday, but it was short, blunt and to the point. To me it come off as rude. She usually uses alot excited marks and thinks like that when she talks to me. So I was wondering if you guys think they she is a bit pist that she no longer has that control over my daughters birthday party? Let me say that she has huge issues with control.


Asked by soonmommyof3 at 2:30 AM on May. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Level 11 (634 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • It was nice that you let sil do some planning, but sil needs to remember her place is "Auntie" NOT "Mommy" and that YOU have the say in what goes on in the child's life (like planning parties). My sis is childless and sometimes she oversteps her bounds and trys to take over like she is the parent-- that is when I give her the look and pointedly remind her who the Mom is and who has the final say in what goes on in the kids lives.

    Answer by MizLee at 1:51 PM on May. 19, 2009

  • i dont understand WHY you let her have control, shes YOUR daughter, she doesnt CONTROL anything in your daughters life. Have your husband talk to her

    Answer by Breezy1988 at 2:33 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • Well accroding to my post she no longer has the control and like I said in the post, I only let her do these things to keep the peace. The girl can be a real Bit@h. But not anymore, I feel the same way you said. My daughter, my right to do what I wish when it comes to her birthday! and we don't need to talk to her, what Im doing, by finally taking control when it comes to my daughters birthday party says alot! Believe me she will get the hint.

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 2:41 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • Ya this is your daughter and if this SIL does'nt get her own way then OH WELL so be it. This is yiour daughter's birthday and you are the parent you can plan this party the way you want it and screw her. IM gonna tell you people like your SIL don't make it to far with happiness in there life cause they want control of everything and people around them get sick of it and take it back so take whats yours back and plan every party for your children from her on in. It's your right as a parent.

    Answer by raemommy at 2:45 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • Thank you raemommy! I sure will do!!

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 2:50 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • She may think you're mad at her and that's why you're not letting her do the party this year (I don't know how old your child is, so, if it's been multiple years with no object she's prolly wondering what she did wrong this time).
    Sometimes it's helps and sometimes it hurts but I'm direct so that people understand my reasoning for things so if it were me, I'd go easy on her and just tell her the truth in how you feel in a gentle way. Maybe even let her help you choose things (not from the entire store, but from maybe a couple of things you like but want a second opinion on). Unless she's one of those people that would take it right back over again.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 7:08 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • I don't understand why keeping the peace with a SIL is so important?? Do you live in her house or something? Do you owe her money that you can't repay? Does she have some dirt on you that could cause you a world of hurt if it got out? If not, then tell her where to stick her control issues! Honey, Listen, life is just too danged short to placate an in-law! If she throws a hissy fit just because you planned your own child's birthday party, tell her to have her own kid and she can plan them for the next 18 years!

    Good luck!


    Answer by SimplyLaine at 7:10 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • You have to keep your foot down especially when it comes to your own children. The SIL needs to get over it and you need to keep firm and be nice about it and maybe let her know that you aren't mad, but you want to feel the joy of putting something together for your daughter. Because you want that feeling when your daughter talks about her birthday parties later that you are the one who gave that to her. You only get this once in your life to have a party once a year for that precious child.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:13 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • Who cares if she is gets mad. Sometimes you have to anger people to get your way. You don't have to be mean or rude, just stand your ground....... I have turned into the biggest Bitch of a SIL lately because I was tired of them taking control of my family!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:31 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • you take that control woman!! You gave birth to that baby girl and this is the day you will celebrate that remarkable event so do it your way and tough @#!*! if she doesn't like it! lol

    Answer by MAMAMISTY33 at 10:09 AM on May. 19, 2009