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Please help!! Having step children issues!

Hi, can anyone advise on tips to handle step children that are rude, disrespectful & generally have an " I don't care" attitude? Are there any good books you can recommend? How can I have a decent relationship with my step daughters, but still be respected?

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Asked by dancekitty at 8:26 AM on May. 19, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • You have to realize that your step children maynever like you. They do however have to respect you while they are in your home. Their father has to be the one to make that clear or you will always be seen as the bad guy.

    Answer by okmommy08 at 8:45 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • Just treat them with lots of love and care as if they were your own. You don't want them to grow up feeling like this is the way you are suppose to be rude you have to guide them I can not offer you a book with instructions but you can just be yourself with them and treat them with respect and they will learn from that. Never say anything negative about their mom she does what she does but while they are with you you do the best that you can and dicipline them as well. 2 girls wow! I have a girl and a boy they are teenagers now but whew! it was quite a journey....we are not that close but we are enough to love and care for eachother. They grew up very well. I had my ups and downs but it was all worth it....If I had to do it again...uh! I don't think so. Just hang in there it will all turn out the way you make it, so do your best but don't go crazy GL

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 8:45 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • how old are they? it is easyer if there still younger, my 2 sd's were 3 and 4 and were monsters no respect no manners i dont care so what. it drove me nuts, then there was my dd age 6 who said please and thank you i made my b/f ( now dh ) open his eyes. i said you wont see my dd at 13 telling me to go %$#$ myself why because she knows better, i said u wait if nothing is done your kids will say it to u on day even the normal ok guys go clean up your room mom will be here in an hour there response was no, u clean it, all while my dd was already picking up toys. that when my man saw what will happen in the future so he realized he needed to put his foot down and be the parent so it was no u made the mess u clean it. we did have to sit in the room and watch them and when they were done it was great job im so proud of u... made them smile and we just went from there, when they were bad or acted up they were grounded no snack,

    Answer by tabbys4 at 9:21 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • cont.. or bed early, missed family movie. something like that. i also taught them ( around x mas time ) when they would scream i want that! i said sorry but i dont listen to i want, if u want me to take note on what u want i would like to hear " i would like to have that " and its now been 6 years and its still i would like or i would love to have that. but u and there dad need to stand together as a team it dosent help when there dad isent helping u, once they see they cant play dad anymore and hes on your side it works better. and they kids see it. show them love and respect and it will work, but again mine were still young, there now almost 11 and 9 my dd is 12. but it worked and they know manners and how to behave. even there moms side of the family saw how they were when i was around.. manners.. and even they were happy. there good kids always were just needed a push in the right direction. good luck it is hard stick 2 i

    Answer by tabbys4 at 9:27 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • If they are older then their dad needs to sit down with then and talk to them about it. There usualy isnt anything that yu can do. I was that way with my stepmom for about 2 years before me and her got super close and i was able to talk to her about everything. But i didnt like her at all so i ended up living with my mom for those 2 years. Talk to your SO about it and have him have a sit down with them. And it might be best if you wernt there durring that. The kids wont feel the pressure of having to say something nice because you and their dad is there.

    Answer by Shelii at 9:34 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • I have a 14 year old step son who had lots of problems when he came to us a year and a half ago. He is no where near as bad as he was at his mom's but I think a lot of that is he is scared of his dad...DH is a big guy, he's in the military and SS doesn't ever question him but with me it s a totally different story. As long as you and your DH see eye to eye on how to handle your step kids then you should demand that they respect you in your home and if they don't they need to be punished for it. I usually take things away from SS when he doesn't do what he's told to do or disrespects me. We ground him a lot, take video games away, take the MP3 player away, make him do housework, my thing lately because nothing else seems to work is to take TV away because that's all SS likes to do is sit in front of the damn thing all the time. Just be consistant with them and don't give in. Show a united front in all things. Good luck.

    Answer by Armymom134 at 4:19 PM on May. 19, 2009

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