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I am leaving for good this time!

well I just wanted some advice on how I should go about leaving my childs father of seven years. we do not respect one another. he yells and calls me names and i do the same back. He breaks my things up, throws things when he is mad, and he has even been phsyically violent towards me in the past. he sayed he does not care about this relationship so many times. so I guess we are both ready to go our separate ways. the only thing i am worried about is how will provide for me and my six year old daughter.and how this will effect her . I told we are going to move in our own house. and she seems to be okay. but I have told her that before and never really left so I do not know what she thinks about it. i just want us to be happy on our own together.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:33 AM on May. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I think you are doing the right thing!! I think your daughter will feel better in a less hostile environment (with the yelling and his 'temper tantrums). I would contact an lawyer or legal aid- find out what your legal rights are, as well as find out about custody and child support. After that I would start looking around for a place (if you have not already done so). Depending on your finances you may want to contact local agencies (United Way, Lutheran Social Servies, Catholic Charities, Salvation Army, local Churches) and see if they have any help for you or know of places that could help you out. I wish you and your daughter good luck!!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 9:40 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • contact your counties human resource dept and ask for help. You can get sect 8 for housing, the medical card, etc...also tell them about the abuse so there is a record and they can get you someplace safe fast. get your daughter out of there. She is being abused and traumatized by seeing it happen to you.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 9:41 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • Good for you that you've finally had enough. A child doesn't need to see someone throwing fits like a child, or accidently hit with something being thrown. She'll likely be a little sad missing her Dad for a while but she will adjust and get used to going with him for visiations.
    I wish more women would think of the children and themselves and take action when a man is abusive to them (such as anger management and councelling if at all possible, and if not, then get the child out of the situation).
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:41 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • I got lost in typing there.... how to leave.
    Contact someone about HUD homes if you've got no place to go, and plan this out as best you can (don't tell your daughter things because she will say something not knowing she shouldn't). There is a waiting list usually so you'll need to stay put for a little while, while you're planning everything. Save all of the cash you can, buy of of the extra canned goods and non perishibles that you can store somewhere so you'll have food to take with you, as soon as you leave, head straight to human sources and ask for any help that you may need in getting started in your new life. And be prepared because men and women both will use the kids against you to try to guilt or scare you in to coming back to them. You need to have some money hid back for lawyer incase he tries to fight you for custody (it's best to beat them to the lawyer so you get temp custody).
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:46 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • You will be fine. The child will be fine and probably better off without all that nonsense going on. My three kids did a lot better after I left their abusive father. They ate better. They slept better. They were able to relax and play again. Just file for child support. If you know his income then go google a "child support calculator" for your state and see how much he has to pay to help you figure a budget.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:40 PM on May. 19, 2009

  • thanks for all the answers and advice, I can only try to do my best to get my life on point again. as for him he has already told me he does not want this relationship, and i think he is trying to see someone new? the funny thing is it does not bother me as much as i thought it would. I have been miserable for so long I just want to be happy now!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:41 PM on May. 19, 2009

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