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My husband and family are pressuring me into keeping my kids away from their father.

Their dad called me up last year in march and said my husband could adopt them and he didn't want them anymore. But since then he's shown that he does want them. He hasn't called or spoken to me, or even asked how they are, but I think it could be because he's afraid of my husband. My husband made if very difficult for him to see the kids because he always tried to start fights with him when he came or dropped them off when the kids were inside. He's told my friends husband that he gave them up because he thought my husband was better for them, but the truth is, hes not that great of a dad to them, he is to our baby, but not to my girls. We've hada lot of trouble with my ex with beind responsible, but people change, and how am i to know if he has or hasnt if i don't find out. I am worried how the girls will take it if i bring him back into their lives. I just want to do whats right.. I don't know what to do.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:34 AM on May. 19, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • its tough,i feel that way too tyfry. But I also worry that they'll end up bad people because I did let him into their lives again.. I'd rather my kids resent me than to grow up into criminals...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:12 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • Also, i'm worried if i go with my gut feeling and do supervised visitaion then it would completely ruin my marriage... But how would my husband feel if his ex kept his daughter away from him? He hasn't always been a responsible dad to his daughter either..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:36 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • if their bio dad wanted them, nothing would top him from them...not your husband, not God himself. If he is not even calling...dont bring him into the girls lives that would be dumb. As for your husband being not nice to them....you need to lay it on the line with him that if he doesnt shape up you are leaving. Your poor kids dont deserve that.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 9:37 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • Well it does sound like your ex may be intimidated by him but he shouldn't stop seeing his kids from him and it's wrong of him to do the things he has. It's wrong for his family to step in like that as well. Go with your gut, and it tells me you want your kids to be with their real father but you somehow need to have your new hubby stay out of their relationship. If he truly is a goof father, let him be and forget about what him and his family say. Not up to them anyway. Your kids deserve a father, so don't let them fill your head with things.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:39 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • Never said my husband isn't nice to them, he just doesn't act like their dad.. just a man in the house to them, thats the way I feel.. my dad is more like their dad, hes the only dad they've ever had and I told my husband that before.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:40 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • no matter what your ex is their biological father, and he has the right to see his children if he wants to be around that is, and if he not putting the children in harms way. If your other girls are old enough talk to them about it. and see if they want a relationship with their dad, and then go from there.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:41 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • Good father not goof, lmao
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:41 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • I don't think it's up to you for him to be a father. It's up to him if he wants to be a father. You can keep the door open to him but he has to make the effort. When you married you current husband your sharing a life and decisions etc, he does have a say in things but he also can't control if the bio-father wants a relationship with your girls. You can't force someone to be a parent, they have to want to.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 9:42 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • its MY family that doesn't want their father to see them.. not my husbands, my husband family doesnt see my kids either.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • Let the girls know who is their biodad keep reminding them no matter what their dad is.


    Especially if you dh right now does not show that he wants them to be his girls, No matter what the girls dad is their dad so let them see him when you get a chance. For you to second guess this your heart is telling you let ya'lls girls know their own flesh and blood. He could be a drunk or for whatever reason you guys didn't make it don't deny them from eachother.


    The only reason he said what he said was bc maybe yes he feels intimidated by your dh but that is no reason to throw it all away. Let them see eachother now that they are young and let them decide what they want to do later in life. You just do your part as a mommy. GL

    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 9:44 AM on May. 19, 2009