Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

question about disciplining?

I'm just curious how other Chrisrtian moms discipline their children? What technique do you find works best for you? I'm ready to lose my mind lol. my twins are in the "horrible threes" phase. They both have such an attitude. everything is a battle. from eating breakfast to when we do our homeschooling lessons. Even getting them dressed is a chore. I put one in timeout and all they do is scream the whole time. (i have them in timeout for three mnutes and all I ask is that they're quiet for the three minutes) but now thats not working. I'm at a loss as to what to do. I try to be slow to anger just as the Lord teaches but I'm finding it harder and harder to keep that mindset because they are getting more out of control everyday. They used to be so sweet and now they're like little terrors. so i really need some advice. thank you.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:42 AM on May. 19, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (12)
  • (hugs) I just wanted to say sorry its hard right now. 3 is horrible! lol much worse than 2. Here is a trick that worked for me to end battle. you give a choice. instead of saying"you will sit and eat right now" make it their choice say something like"ok while you are sitting like a big boy/girl would you like to choose the cereal or the toast, its so imortant so really think carefully" like its a game or a big decision for them.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 10:49 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • Pick your battles. We went through this as well and I caught myself fighting with them literally over every little thing. Try to mentally let some things that you really can live with slide and focus on the bigger issues.

    Sorry, not a Christian, but I felt you needed all the help you could get :)
    krisr169

    Answer by krisr169 at 11:02 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • IMO, I would make them stand in timeout until they learn to be quiet. Our boys know there are consequences. I set the timer on the microwave and tell them once they are quiet I will start the timer and once it beeps the timeout is over. I don't ask them to think about what they did during the timeout, I only tell them to be quiet or they will stand there all day. They don't sit down for a timeout because then they just want to lay down, play around, making them stand in one place and be quiet is much more effective. Just my approach. GL
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:06 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • Parenting is really a challenge at times, isn't it - sigh. I have 4 kids, & I don't think any of them have a passive bone in their bodies. There are many good reasons for getting your little ones on track. A mom' who I greatly respect said it's important to "win" when they are little so they know how to win when they are older.
    So, first, remind yourself that their response (screaming on the "naughty chair") can be ignored. Have a "time out" place far away from an "audience." When you place your little one(s) there for the 3 minutes, remind them that you won't let them up until they have been quiet for 3 minutes. Then, walk away, and stick to your guns.
    Also, my dad gave me a great book by John Rosemond, called New Parent Power. I don't believe it's a Christian book, so of course God's directions come first, but I have found it very helpful in giving me tools to parent my kids more effectively.
    Prayers for you!
    TeaAnderson

    Answer by TeaAnderson at 11:12 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • First, will be praying for you. I'm gonna suggest the books that my son's pediatrician suggested I get when my son was a toddler... (his pediatrician was a Christian and he knew I was a single parent)... God, the Rod, and your child's bod, Dare to Discipline, and How to Make Your Children Mind without Losing Yours.. Dare to Discipline is by James Dobson and the last book I believe is by Kevin Lehman. Also Boundaries for Parents is good.

    Also, you said they used to be sweet and now they're terrors - now some maynot agree with this but when speaking about them or over them... speak words of what u want them to be...also see what they're being exposed too... (what are they watching on tv etc.).

    I agree with TeaAnderson also.. hope this helps.
    bonn777

    Answer by bonn777 at 11:29 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • LOL if you think they have an attitude now, wait until they are tweens!


    Pick your battles and provide choices whenever possible.  Your twins are trying to assert some control over their own lives and they are doing it the only way they know how.  By providing choices you are giving them some of that control.  For instance, let them choose what they want to wear.  Give them a choice of 2 or 3 things for breakfast and if they still don't eat it, then take it away and let them go hungry (just for a little while).  They will soon learn that you mean business but it will get worse before it gets better.

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 11:51 AM on May. 19, 2009

  • Ahh . . . gotta love strong-willed three year olds. It's so hard to discipline without breaking their spirit, isn't it? I have been reading a series of books called "Love and Logic" - they are amazing - they teach discipline intertwined with teaching kids responsibility for themselves and their actions. It's working wonders on my extremely strong willed five year old.

    www.loveandlogic.com or you can find them at www.amazon.com (where I got mine for a steal!!)
    jennijune_21

    Answer by jennijune_21 at 12:08 PM on May. 19, 2009

  • I am not christian, but I am the mom of a set of twins getting ready to turn 3. I know where you are coming from and there are times I want to pull all my hair out.
    The best thing is choices. And a reward system to go with time outs. If you do things that get you put in time out you do not get to do__________. That way it is another choice. If you go all morning with out being put in time out than in the evening we can go to the park or play side walk chalk. It does not alawys work they are going to have bad days. The more bad days they have the more frustrated we get, and the more frustrated we get the more they act up. It is a really bad cycle. So if you are having a really tough week make sure you do something for you with out the twin tornadoes. (ok yours might not be tornadoes but mine sure are sometimes they get upgraded to hurricanes). Even if all you do is leave the house for a walk Cont
    Alanaplus3

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 1:15 PM on May. 19, 2009

  • Go get something off the $1 menu at McDOnalds or some other treat that is not expensive and gets you out.
    Alanaplus3

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 1:16 PM on May. 19, 2009

  • As far as meal time goes. Don't make it a battle.

    You choose when they eat, and what options they have on the table.

    They choose what of those options to eat, and how much.

    If they don't eat then, they'll have to suffer the natural consequence of feeling hungry. That's it.
    mogencreative

    Answer by mogencreative at 2:48 PM on May. 19, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Religion & Beliefs
Tattoos in the bible

Next question overall (Toddlers (1-2))
Is my DD ok?

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN