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need new mommy advice

My cousin lives in Alaska, she is due any day now, her husband s to be deployed in two weeks to Iraq, I am in NM and dont have to money to make it up there to help her, So instead I am writting her a advice letter so I need as much help I can give her, for a new mom, and her dad in also in Iraq now.....So maybe this might help her. So please as much as I can.

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SkylaReneeMom

Asked by SkylaReneeMom at 12:05 PM on May. 19, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 17 (3,654 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Feed baby, change baby, go back to bed..evrything else can wait! get some sunshine and get dressed everyday (even if you are going back to bed...you will feel better). Everybody feels like they don't know what to do...that's normal so quit crying! LOL
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 12:06 PM on May. 19, 2009

  • *I would let her know now to make up a bunch of lunches and dinners and freeze them. I'd do at least 2 weeks worth!
    *Sleep when the baby sleeps.
    *Never wake a sleeping baby.
    *If you feel yourself getting overwhelmed, put the baby down, go into another room and just laydown for 5 minutes. If your baby screams, that's okay. Just take a minute to calm down. When you go back to your baby she/he will be calm as well!
    * If you are offered help, TAKE IT!!!
    *Just enjoy that little bundle of joy!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 PM on May. 19, 2009

  • I'd send her a few books and site references. That's what I did for my out of town friend. The Baby Book by Dr. Sears, The Womanly Art Of Breastfeeding by La Leche League. A list of names and numbers for local lactation consultants. Resource sites like kellymom, carseat safety videos, etc. Focus on normal infant behavior rather than forced changing behavior. She'll be all alone w/ a new baby. Better she expect a growth spurt and understand it than freak out, stress, and give her baby solids in frustration.
    jus1jess

    Answer by jus1jess at 12:22 PM on May. 19, 2009

  • I would tell her to enjoy her baby. Sometimes you just have to forget about everything else and just spend time with your child, making them smile and enjoying their laughs.
    lilbit837

    Answer by lilbit837 at 12:25 PM on May. 19, 2009

  • Well tell her about everything she is going to expect. Tell her about things like burping and ect. How often she needs to feed the baby. About the baby that all babies are not the same. I would tell her about this site. If she has a computer. If she is having a boy about to make sure his pee pee is down so he doesn't pee on himself. If she is feeling over whelmed that you are there and she can call you day and night. Well good luck with her letter.

    akmami0f4

    Answer by akmami0f4 at 12:30 PM on May. 19, 2009

  • Add some advice about what it is like immediately after birth. I was glad some of my friends warned me that you will bleed a lot afterward, for a long time. They also told me not to expect and immediate, overwhelming sense of love for the baby---this happens for some people, but not everyone, and that's OK. It will come. They also told me that breastfeeding can be really hard and it can really hurt at the beginning. They told me to keep looking for help until I got it right. Some of my friends got the chills and shakes really bad soon after birth, but I didn't. Take baths every day to help heal yourself and to give yourself some "me time."

    Have some books that AREN'T about babies to read, too. It was important to me to read non-baby books so that I felt like I had a world that was still all about me and to have an escape.
    evwsquared

    Answer by evwsquared at 1:37 PM on May. 19, 2009

  • Is this her first deployment? That will also make a big difference. And, does she live on the base? I would get as involved with her husband's unit's FRG (family readiness group) as possible (as much as she can with the consideration of being a new mommy). Find at least one other wife in the unit! Hopefully, one who also has children. Maybe her hubby can introduce her to one that he trusts. I know that was important to me while my husband was deployed. We luckily got pregnant in May while he was home on R&R and he was home before their birth. I would say though that there are no superhero awards in deployments or mommyhood! If she needs to cry, then cry, just watch out for Postpartum depression. Gosh, what a lot to deal with! New baby and deployment!
    My biggest piece of advice: Read as many books as you can, talk to as many mommies as you can, but at the end of the day it is your baby and you have to make the best decision
    mommystiebler

    Answer by mommystiebler at 2:40 PM on May. 19, 2009

  • Yeah she needs to link in with her FRG. Even if she isn't living near her husband's base, she can link in with the FRG for the recruiting battalion there. Please pm me if you have any questions on that. They can give her all kinds of tips and tricks. Also, tell her not to be afraid to ask for help! Most state and county governements offer programs to help moms in simliar positions. Someone at her hospital should come by and introduce themselves but if not... hmm... http://www.childcareconnection.org/ccc/links.htm this site seems to have a lot of links to such programs. Also, tell her to check with Military One Source because they might have some helpful advice. http://www.militaryonesource.com/home.aspx?MRole=&Branch=&Component=
    Hope that helps!
    CooksWife

    Answer by CooksWife at 2:51 PM on May. 19, 2009

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