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My son doesn't want a birthday party!

My son is 10 years & he doesn't want a birthday party. We just have a few of his classmates & the rest of the family at his parties. I can't ignore his birthday. He is the youngest of six children & the last child at home. I might have a cookout at home & surprise him with a party.

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Asked by MrsMouse at 2:03 PM on May. 19, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 3 (25 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • if he doesn't want a party, ask why first... he might have a good reason for not wanting one, then ask him what he wants to do on his birthday instead... maybe a trip to the zoo or something. We once had a little girl request that anyone who came to her birthday donate to our animal shelter instead of bringing her a gift because she didn't need or want anything.. She was 9 I think..

    Answer by BisketLiss at 2:06 PM on May. 19, 2009

  • The cookout sounds nice. :-)

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:06 PM on May. 19, 2009

  • Well, I would do something small. He said he didn't want a birthday party not a birthday Day. Dinner with friends or something. It's a big kid thing. I guess I was always the boring kid. My daughter 8 years old told me that she doesn't want a party next month either. She just wants a Nintendo DSI. I ususally let her have a sleepover or something and dinner that day. When she turned 6 I started taking her to get her nails done just for her birthday. (Just painted with a flower design on the big toe nothing extreme) Ask him want he wants to do instead.

    Answer by Peacefully at 2:11 PM on May. 19, 2009

  • FInd out why he doesn't want a party first. Maybe he just wants to spend his birthday with his parents and not have a big fuss made of it. There is nothing wrong with that. I wouldn't force a party on him, he may get upset at you. Not all kids like being the center of attention, even on their birthday.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 4:49 PM on May. 19, 2009

  • maybe he is afraid of a party being too childish? My mom always gave us the option of party and a couple good gifts or no party and more money to spend on gifts.....maybe he is thinking he would rather have a better gift????
    I would ask him why not...I wouldnt surprise him with a birthday party if he doesnt want one.

    Answer by jenellemarie at 5:40 PM on May. 19, 2009

  • If he doesn't want a party, then respect his wishes and don't force one on him. My daughter stopped wanted parties at that age. Instead, we have a nice family dinner out, and I take her and two friends for a day downtown; we go out to lunch, we go to lots of stores (I have picture of the girls trying on sunglasses at Chanel); we go out for ice cream, and we go home.

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:54 PM on May. 19, 2009

  • if he doesn't want one don't. Last year my son said no party. So we took one friend and the family out to play miniture golf and lazer tag. Came home had pizza and cake. And he loved it.

    Answer by pagirl71 at 7:35 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • if you have a surprise party and he doesn't want it...the surprise might be on you. Kids definately start forming their own opinions at this age. Honor it. Better to ask him want HE wants and then give it to him.. Some kids don't need lots of friends...just one or two good ones.

    Answer by momjs at 10:42 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • I agree with the idea that it doesn't have to be a party, but you can still make a special day for him! Talk to him and see what he would like to do, and see if he will still be okay with having the family over for cake or whatever you usually do. Don't call it a party if he didn't want a party.....I think if you honor his feelings it teaches him something about respecting other people, so that is a good thing!

    Answer by BJoan at 8:46 AM on May. 22, 2009

  • My 9yo hasn't wanted a birthday party in 3 years. He doesn't like a lot of people around and has more fun with just a few. Plus he hates the singing. So we let him get 2-3 friends and we do something different. We have taken three of them to the Rennaissance Festival, out to dinner, all kinds of stuff and let them each get something cool. He picks something we couldn't do with a large group, and we always have a blast. If your son doens't want a party, ask him if he wants to have some friends over or something like that. And count your stars, no more entertaining large groups, no more goodie bags, no big clean up. It's actually kind of nice.

    Answer by RealityFan at 10:16 AM on May. 23, 2009

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