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what would you have done???

I took my son to the Doctor this morning and he apparently does not like to be there - we got in the backroom and he started to cry, handed me my purse and pointed to the door and said Go - mind you, he's 18 months old - I told him we had to stay and he threw himself on the floor and screamed and kicked, I tried showing him a book, talking to him, picking him up and holding him on my lap only to fail at every attempt. we then had to go upstairs to get blood drawn and because we weren't heading towards the car -he did the same thing. threw himself on the floor kicking and screaming. He doesn't at this age understand wait, hold on or simple explanations. I simply had to let him throw his fit in every area til we left. What is the "correct" way to handle this situation?? my husband wants to start taking him and I KNOW He will freak and take max home without any tests done or exams done when they are needed.


Asked by maxsmom11807 at 5:57 PM on May. 19, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (10)
  • well it depends. does he do it because he knows thats the way he usually is able to change your mind? if 1 time in 10 a tantrum 'works' kids are smart, and they remember.
    but seeing as its something non negotiable, yes, id let him have a tantrum. the doctors will have experienced many kids doing this before, yes it will be a little embarrassing maybe, but who cares, your child has to see the doctor, right? who cares what people think?
    if you are worried about what his dad will say if he sees, dont bring him along... :)

    Answer by katiemum at 5:53 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • invest in lollipops that is what I did with my son. It take there mind off of things


    Answer by akmami0f4 at 6:08 PM on May. 19, 2009

  • find out what 'special' toy, book...anything that you know he absolutely LOVES, and keep it as his special thing, that he only gets when you places he doesnt like. that way you are turning a negative experience into something he can look forward to.

    Answer by katiemum at 6:12 PM on May. 19, 2009

  • My son is two and HATES the doctor. When my child was your son's age he was having major tests dones and a few surgeries. Yes, he cried because he understood completely what was going to happen to him. He didn't want it done. All I can say is that I held him, rocked him, brought him things to eat to keep him calm (I didn't care what any posting said about no food or drink - it was about my child's sanity), and we practiced before we went to the doctor. We have a doctors kit we play with on each other and on the dolls. This seems to ease the tantrums so that it is not so bad. Don't get me wrong, I still have to hold him down at certain points. But as he gets older it gets to be less and less of a major ordeal.

    Answer by frogdawg at 6:39 PM on May. 19, 2009

  • I think that its our instinks as parents to protect our children from pain and suffering- but the Idea to give your child treats or speacial toys to do what they MUST do is silly-
    I no the doctor is a very scary place for a child-my mother used to have to hold me down to get a shot-that continued until I was 12 and I think the reason I did it until I was that age was because the more "scared" I was the more my mommy babied me.
    Now a 1 or 2 year old, yeah get em mcdonalds afterward-but dont get them gifts or toys or expensive things to make them do what we have to make them do to insure there healh...thats just silly and sets them up for bad habbits, next it will be the dentist your paying him to go to, or daycare, than the barber-where does it end if you dont put a stop to it.
    Just cuddle, hug, and love- it dont pay off treat that behavior.. Hug them and tell him he was a big boy or girl and get them a happymeal!

    Answer by judith_visco at 6:48 PM on May. 19, 2009

  • Katiemum-though I understand your concept of that- kids arent dumb-eventually maybe not right away but eventually they will remember that everytime they get that special something toy or what be it they are gonna remember that last time he got that it was because he had to get a shot at the doctor-
    I think trying to turn negitive things into positive things are great- however, we wonder why everytime something good happends to us there is something bad to follow-I think we get taught that at young ages- this just being another example

    Answer by judith_visco at 6:53 PM on May. 19, 2009

  • no, the concept behind it - this way, kids get preoccupied because you TELL them that as soon as you get to place A, they will get the toy/book/whatever. that way, there isnt a chance for them to become really distressed, because they are looking forward to whatever that thing is.
    you dont get shots every time you visit the doctor, but a kid who is scared of the doctors because they MIGHT get a shot is goi9ng to have a horrible time EVERY time they go, because they fear what MIGHT happen.
    and i did NOT say but expensive gifts r toys, my daughter has a magna doodle kept int he car for doctor visits, so its special. it wasnt expensive, and i certainly dont buy something every time we go.
    i know this works in my family, when my daughter was around 4, she had a scary experience at the doctors, she fell and cut her face and needed to have micro surgery, but because she was used to having the toy to draw with, she was very calm

    Answer by katiemum at 9:02 PM on May. 19, 2009

  • in the surgeons office, even though previously she had been very scared of doctors/hospitals.
    in my experience, as you are getting into the car to go to the doctors, you remind the child that as soon as they get there, they will be able to play with their special toy. make it sound really exciting by using a very animated voice-like its a really exciting thing to visiting the doctor.
    judith_visco, why do you think they give out lollies at the ped's office and have toys in the waiting room? its the same concept, but geared toward your own child.

    Answer by katiemum at 9:09 PM on May. 19, 2009

  • the only problem with this is that my son is completely undistractable. I know most people would not believe this but its true -I have a magnadoodle I brought with, along with trying to show him the fish tanks at the clinic office, I had his sippy cup and a snack I brought from home, tried the books - I talked with my mom and she's going to check with her friend who was an early childhood education teacher because she's really the only other person who believes me when I say he can NOT Be distracted. I was just wondering if there is absolutely nothing else you can do to get their mind of wanting to leave, is it acceptable to let them throw themselves on the floor and scream? He will not even let me hold me on my lap.

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 11:15 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • thank you katiemum for all your advice/replies - No, I have a 2 chance rule at home and am very lovingly strict - he has started time outs and 1 time is an accident and 2nd time is time out - however ,he has yet to have this type of full blown tantrum ever before . not where he kicked and screamed like this - the only other time he did this was LAST time at his DR Appt. I refuse to bring my husband along because I know he'd freak !~! thank you so much

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:59 PM on May. 20, 2009