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How do i get my young child to cope with a big change?

My daughter is four and her father has been with her for almost a year while looking for a new job... so since daddy has been back to work she has her mommy til two and then it's off to work for me as well.. she screams and cry's "take me with you mommy" every day and her sitter has told me if she dosn't stop i have to find a new one.... to make matters worse.. mommy is going back to school and daddy has to work long hours so im dessperate to help her deal

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makinglifework

Asked by makinglifework at 12:13 AM on May. 20, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (4)
  • I'm concerned about the reaction of the sitter, surely she's had children with separation anxiety before, right? How does she try to comfort your daughter when you leave? At 4 she might be old enough for a little lesson on telling time and counting down until it's time for her to see you again. Good luck, I can't imagine how upsetting this must be for both of you!
    pitter_patter

    Answer by pitter_patter at 2:06 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • I'd find a new sitter. It's expected for your daughter to have such a reaction to a certain extent. If the sitter doesn't realize that...maybe she should find another job.

    I agree that teaching her to look at a clock and recognize when she's going to see one of her parents again would be a good idea. She doesn't even have to learn to tell time completely...just recognize that when the small hand is on the "5" someone will be there...or if a digital clock that when it's 5-0-0.

    Just talk to your daughter. At 4, her reasoning skills might not be quite there, but you can just tell her every day that someone will see her at whatever time, and every day tell her "see, I told you we'd be back"....

    Trial and error...figure out what works for her to understand.
    TiccledBlue

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 5:49 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • I agree find a new sitter!!!! I understand what you are going through my husband was a full time
    student for 4 years from home the last two. I think my kids took to the change better than me!!!!
    I like to stay up late and read so I liked him getting up with the kids and getting them off to school then doing his classes on the computer.. But I really like making more money with the job he got after he finished school!! LOL!! I hope you find the right daycare for you and your child..Ask Around
    look on the internet..Good Luck!!
    McMac

    Answer by McMac at 2:14 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • Adaptation period for children is usually two weeks. If it has been longer than two weeks something may not be clicking with this nanny. Also stick around to see if the crying dies down quickly. It may also be your daughter manipulating the situation cause she just simply wants mommy to stay. I don't like the babysitters solution or threat.
    Gladme

    Answer by Gladme at 5:49 PM on May. 20, 2009

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