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What would You Do?

Before I start this i want to say, yes jen it is about u. I want some unbiased advice for you and you never seem to be able to have time to write it all out. Ok, now as for the question. My friend is experiencing a lot of issues in her marriage. I'm not going to go into major detail or anything, I will leave that to her when she reads this. I just want to know what you would do if you thought your friend wasn't being treated the way that you think she should by a spouse. No physical abuse by the way, just not being appreciated the way that I think she deserves. What am I supposed to do? Stay out? Put in my opinion? Kick his ass? lol (last one was for comic effect) Anyone have an opinion?

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vchristineg

Asked by vchristineg at 12:34 AM on May. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Level 5 (86 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Not all women are appreciated by their husbands. What do you want her to do about it? How long has she put up with it and shown him it was acceptable behavior? How can she change a man who has spent his lifetime learning to be unappreciative. Be angry with his mother not him. If she can talk with him and tell him what she wants from him that might help but other than that it looks like she has to accept him as is or not. It's up to her
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:47 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • This is a recent thing is the problem. He didn't used to be like this. He was a much different person when they were dating. They have been married for just over 3 years now and it seems like he just has stopped caring one way or the other if she is happy or not. She tells him what is wrong, she tells him she is miserable, and he just kinda shruggs and says w/e. I'm so pissed i could spit nails right now, but in the end it is still her marriage. But I just want to know if anyone else would put up with this stuff from their husband?
    vchristineg

    Answer by vchristineg at 12:50 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • be supportive of her and stay out of it! she will do what she wants to do and you mixing yourself up is dangerous to your friendship. obviously you love her; maybe have a "jen day" take her to her fav restraunt, fav movie, fav ball game, get makeovers, whatever just make a day of it and don't lecture, don't speak of her hubby, just make it about her.
    mrsmostafa

    Answer by mrsmostafa at 12:56 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • I would love to do something like that... except that i live clear across the country at the moment. lol. And her husband doesnt like me or any of her other friends for that matter because she always realizes what is wrong with her marriage when she is with us. And no we usually dont mention it or say hey do u realize....... unless she starts the conversation.
    vchristineg

    Answer by vchristineg at 1:01 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • Never get involved in your friends marriages. Causes problems all the way around. IF she isn't getting beat, leave well enough alone.
    coutterhill

    Answer by coutterhill at 1:31 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • Maybe he appreciates her the way he feels she should be appreciated. It doesn't matter what you feel it's not your business. If she doesn't like what he does, and not because of what you are telling her, then she should do something about it. Not you.

    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 7:18 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • Okay, this post is about me, and I think that from the info you all have gotten, you are right. BUT, he does not blame me for my behavior, or my decisions. He ignores not only me, but our 2yr old daughter. His real hang up is that I am no longer a member of his church. He cannot get past the fact that I am trying to find my own path. And that I talk to my friends. He does not like my friends, so he thinks that I am overly influenced by them. He is in school, and working part time. I understand that takes alot of effort, but he makes more time for his online game and his friends at school than he will for me, or his daughter. I know that this is my decision, but my husband keeps bringing them into our issues. Infact, he brought into question christine's parenting. SO, I do not mind having their input, especially when I ask for, or he brings them into it.
    NewMom101

    Answer by NewMom101 at 9:19 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • I wish that I could stay out of your problems... God knows I have enough of my own to deal with. But with that said I will say that I will do (almost) anything for you.. If you need me in your problems to help you get through them so be it.... I am also involved due to like what you said, he involves us by blaming us for his problems... I wish you the best of luck.. Just remember when you need us just let me know...
    Aimeesmommie

    Answer by Aimeesmommie at 12:20 PM on May. 21, 2009

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