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Is 14 to young to have sex? how do prevent it?

My 14 year old son said his girlfriends mother said it is ok for them to have sex because she is on the pill. he said that they also gave him CONDOMS! i am so mad. but when we sat down and talked about it he said of his 5 best friends only 1 of them is a virgin... (NOT HIM)! how do i prevent this.. he said most of his friends have sex in times that i could not prevent him from having it.. open lunch at school gives them 45 minutes of FREE time that i CANNOT be around.... plus with his Girlfriends mother's ok?... I WONT LET HIM GO OVER THERE... but i cant even let him go to any of the Middle school Dances or anything anymore. ANY SUGGESTIONS so my son doesnt have to live in a bubble, but doesnt become a father at the age of 14? and if he thinks its ok with this girl, what if he changes girlfriends(you know middleschool gf and bf change alot) and she ISNT on BC???

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:59 AM on May. 20, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (76)
  • There isn't much you can do except to educate him. Tell him that he doesn't want to be disrespectful to any girls by sleeping with them...even if the girls say they want to. Make this an ongoing conversation. I wouldn't tell him he couldn't go to this girls home....this will make him sneak around to have sex, possibly lie about where he is going, etc. Just educate him constantly and tell him that sex is WAY better when your older! GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:04 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • i agree ... you cant do much besides educate him and make sure he does have condoms so that he is safe. regardless if you want him to do it or not. you said yourself you cant be there 24/7. i dont think its fair to not allow him to go to school dances or anything let him live his life but ensure he is safe and educated.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:10 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • i am the ORIGINAL poster, and i dont want to take away dances but i dO NOT want to become a grandmother at the age of 33... not only that my son can NOT support a girl and her baby, and i cant get him to Promise me that he will NOT have sex.....

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:12 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • i already gave u my advice.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:43 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • well obviouslly hes going to do it anyways right? So why not show him how to be safe for himself and not only rely on his gf being on birth control! Yes in my opinion its to young(but I lost mine at 15)

    Answer by dairyberrys at 10:26 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • Be carefule as to what "kind" of bc she is on. The pill? (miss a few and could get pregnant) shot? (more secure than the pill for teens, but is it up to date?) somethings to think of...i dont know just educate him. i see 9 YEAR OLDS having babys! It is getting ridiculous now a days, theres no "sure" way to prevent him from intercourse

    Answer by tjandjenna at 10:34 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • Wow! 14... I know my sons would be on lock down. Having sex at 14 is so much more than worrying about getting someone pregnant... I really feel for you - Good Luck.

    Answer by Kristen1010 at 11:44 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • First of all - I would contact the gf's parents and rake them up and down the fence for encouraging YOUR son to have sex with THEIR daughter. It is perfectly OK to educate about safe sex - it is an entirely different situation to ENCOURAGE it.

    Second - you need to go to the school with this information. Hopefully if they are made aware that many, many students are having sex on SCHOOL TIME the 45 minute free time will cease.
    CHILDREN should not be having sex DURING SCHOOL hours on school grounds.

    Answer by Fawn80 at 11:48 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • If is going to have sex, he will find a way. The only thing you can really do is to educate him. Let him know of all the risks involved; and that just because she is on the pill and they use condoms doesn't mean she can't get pregnant. Make sure he knows of all the STD's he could acquire. It's insane that kids can't be kids these days. I'm sorry you are in this situation. God Bless and good luck to you.

    Answer by August07Mom at 11:48 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • first, you need to have a talk with this girls parents! It is NOT ok in my book for another parent to be telling your son that it ok for him to be having sex, let alone providing him with condoms

    I agree with the PP's, you need to educate your son on how to be safe if he CHOOSES to have sex. That means showing him how to properly put on a condom (use a banana). Unfortunately, lots of kids give in to the pressure their friends put on them to have sex, so you have to do your part to make sure that you have open and honest lines of communication with him, and that he can come to you for ANYTHING, even if it means that he comes to you for condoms. Better he do that than believe he is safe because she is "on the pill" or be too embarassed to buy them himself.

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 11:49 AM on May. 20, 2009

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