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I have two boys 4 and 3 and I am pregnant with a girl. The boys have been asking questions about the difference between boys and girls and I was wondering how to keep it simple, but give them useful information?

Talking to your kids about gender!


Asked by Jesmomof3 at 8:32 AM on May. 20, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (8)
  • I wonder how it would go if you turned it on them for now. Ask them "Is mommy a girl or a boy?" A do you know? Are you a boy or a girl? A boy,,,, how do you know. I wonder what their answers would be, if it would be helpful in directing you a little more in what they already know and what they need to know. Once the girl gets here they will see the difference at some point while bathing or diaper changes and you can talk about that difference then.

    Answer by mom2queenie2004 at 10:18 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • Well when i explained it to my children. I just told them the whole mom and daddy thing. Like boys have pee pee and girls have specials. Tell them that she is a girl like you. That mom is happy to have a girl now because you already have a bunch of boys. Well congrats on the baby girl.

    Answer by akmami0f4 at 8:41 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • You can start to prepare them now by telling them the difference between the genitals - when you change her, you can show your boys that she doesn't have a penis, that she's like you. Do they go to school where they have boy and girl friends? You can talk to them about the differences between their friends (generalizations). If not, you can pull out some magazines and look at the boys/girls and see some generalizations there - girls generally have softer features, boys will have sharper features. Girls might prefer longer hair, boys shorter. Whatever generalizations you would like to present.

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 8:48 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • This is just cute -

    When my older brother was just 3 or 4 my parents decided that they would tell him about gender differences by using proper names and telling the truth. So they explained it to him as best they could. The next day he heard him in the sandbox with his friends saying very matter of fact "Me and Jonathan have penises, but Kimmy doesn't have one because hers is in China."

    Hahha! I just thought I'd throw a cute story in :) Sorry I'm not more helpful!

    Answer by beckcorc at 9:02 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • I just call all body part by their names...penis, vagina, breasts. There's nothing shameful about calling a body part what they are called. I think that if you are calling them wankers, hoohas and boobies, you're sending the message that sex and body parts are something to be ashamed of. I was molested as a child...I never knew the correct name for body parts so when I told my mom that my dad was touching my secret, she never knew what I was talking about until I was a lot older. I was taught that sex and our bodies were something to be ashamed about and I don't want that for my children. I also teach them what is good touch and bad touch. My 4 year old knows where babies come from. I see it as a healthy thing. He doesn't run around the playground at school screaming that he has a penis because we don't shroud the topic in secrecy. Good luck to you!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:22 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • I went to and selected the girl or boy 3 min. video and let them watch it. My 3 year old said that is what my pee pee looks like and he didn't really say anything about the girl so I will leave it at that for now.

    Answer by Jesmomof3 at 9:46 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • You could make it even simpler then that if you like. With my daughter, we just simply people watch and point out if someone is a boy or a girl. We also tell her that girls are mothers, sisters, aunts, and grandma's, and boys are the other. My daughter is only two, but thats what we do for now.

    Answer by squish at 12:49 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • I totally agree with mom2queenie2004.
    That is exactly what we do.

    Answer by squish at 12:49 PM on May. 20, 2009