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Do you think teens have a right to privacy while living at home? If so what kind?

This is really regarding cell phone and computer use as well as being able to close the door their rooms. Don't we as parents, have the right to know what is going on at all times...who they're talking to and when, where they are on the computer and what they say on it, and what they keep in their rooms and how they take care of it? If they are supposed to be responsible for all that and fail or go in the wrong direction, don't we have an obligation to step in and say so and demand better? Can teens ever really learn to make good decisions on their own? If they don't show us they can, how do we ever let them out of the house?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:43 AM on May. 20, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (17)
  • Wow, I think your teens are going to end up hating you and counting down the days until they turn 18, and then run as fast as they can away from you. And I can't say I blame them. How would you feel if your rights like that were taken away? There's a difference between knowing what's going on and just down right being snoopy. No, you don't have a right to say they can't have their door closed for christ sake. Can they have the bathroom door closed? That's the same principal. You can say when they can be on the computer and phone, and maybe even who they talk to, but they are going to figure out how to do it anyway if they so choose to. And saying that they can't make their own decision without you helping? What if they are going thru something youve never had to deal with? Should they listen to you anyway or go somewhere else for help? They're smarter than you think and they need experiences to make the right choices. Back off
    sarapurser

    Answer by sarapurser at 10:49 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • It's your roof that there under and us as parents are to teach them these things and yea we have every right to know what they are doing at all times. There's alot of scum bags in this world. Going throw there bedroom, yes if you believe there's maybe something going on (drug use,sex, ect). My step-son can't get on the computer unless we know where hes going on it and what hes doing and why. We check everything he does.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 10:52 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • You live and you learn, You need to loosen up a little. How can they learn by there mistakes? if you don't give them a chance to make any?? You have to trust that you taught them well, and they will make the right decision. They won't every time, but they usually learn by it.
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 10:52 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • If you're talking about 13 years old.....maybe, but once they reach 15 or so YOU need to RESPECT their privacy and let them learn how to be the adult you want them to be. Violating their privacy will only lead to them hating you and wanting to rebel against your wishes, not comply to them. Trust your children to make the right decisions..in theory you've provided them with the knowledge they need to do so.
    BisketLiss

    Answer by BisketLiss at 10:53 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • ALL people have a right to privavcy, even kids. Unless you have a reason to not respect their privacy they should feel that what is in their room is private, it is their personal space. I don't go through my sons room unless I have a reason that he gave me. I do check his email, MySpace and phone once in a while and that is more because I don't trust other people. My son is able to shut his door when he wants privacy and I respect that. It is about trusting your children first, not automatically having to know everything they are doing or saying.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:26 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • Not only do you have the right to know what's going on, I believe you have a responsibility to know. I don't think cell phones are necessities for teenagers. I believe that the computers should all be out in the open where everyone can see what's going on. If you have nothing to hide, what's the big deal? No computers in the bedrooms! Computers in the family room or kitchen only. I think teenagers should have privacy to shower and change clothes unattended. I respect their modesty. Their closets and drawers and even under the bed belong to me, and I have the authority to inspect them any time I choose to do so. The very first thing children need to learn is that they live under the roof of their parents and thus under their authority,. They must be taught to respect that. When they move out, they can do as they please. By the way, my children lived under this kind of dictatorship until they were out of college!!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:08 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • I think there is a fine line between guarding your child's innocence and outright controlling them. And keeping an eye on them 24/7 is controlling them. How are they ever going to prove to you that they are capable of making the right decisions if you never give them the chance?
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 1:53 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • I think that if you have a reason to not trust your child then they lose the right to privacy. If you think that they are doing ddrugs or smoking, you have a right to take a look in their rooms. You do always have the right to monitor your computer. Teens do need privacy, to an extent. Obviously, no opposite sex people in their rooms with the door closed....they don't need THAt kind of privacy.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:23 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • I agree with raemommy. My kids are young now, but when they are @ that age, if they say the word privacy I will laugh in their face. Children (defined by being under ur roof) (unless maybe paying some sort of rent) are ENTITLED to nothing but water, food, and clothing...IMHO.
    lionslambs

    Answer by lionslambs at 4:55 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • Because,I was a teenager,I know,the more parents said no,the more I wondered,why not, unless you have a reason to think your child is doing something wrong,why wouldn't you trust him,when you let your child know you trust him,this will open the door of communcation,I don't go through my DD dressers,I don't go through her phones, I do however limit her time on the computer,they have computers in school,that are monitor by the teacher. Guess what,like,I told someone else,YOU DON'T TRUST YOUR KID,,BECAUSE YOU REMEMBER WHAT KIND OF KID YOU WAS.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:21 PM on May. 20, 2009

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