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Why do men (TMI)...

Masturbate? Dh and I have sex maybe once or twice a week and it's usely pretty awesome, but we don't have sex as much as I would like. Dh has high blood pressure so his meds sometimes plays with his libido. Also I suspect he has ADD and he always has lots on his mine can't seem to concentrate on whats at hand. In the past I would always initiate sex only to be turned down and I would feel hurt. It took a couple of years to realize that it is not me but his meds. So now only Dh initiates sex when he wants it. But today I left work came home and found him masturbating. Now I would not care if we had sex more often but when we only have sex once or twice a week in my mine it's now a problem. I feel very hurt when I know it's stupid to very this way.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:57 AM on May. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • why do women mastubate? he may want to get off but don't feel like being with you @ the time.... not trying to be mean or hurt your feelings
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • All men masturbate. Even if they have sex once a day once a week or once a month.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 11:00 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • If you came home and caught him, I can only guess you weren't home when he started? You weren't around! If I came home and saw that, I'd tell DH how hot it is and finish him off. You might also try phone sex. Call him and tell him you're on your way...By the time you get there, he'll be "ready" for you...hee hee hee Good Luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:03 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • It's a quick easy release. Nothing more. If you're sure its his meds and not you that is affecting his libido leave it at that. If you think it's you then do something about it.
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 11:34 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • Masturbation is self-gratification, and the key word is "self." And no, not all men do it. I think you are being very charitable in thinking that his lack of interest in you is because of his meds or anything else. His lack of interest in you is telling you that he is more interested in himself and his pleasure than he is in yours and you. I don't mean to be cruel, but it is just a fact. Masturbation is a habit and it is addictive, so depending on when he started doing it, he will have to keep increasing the frequency just to keep his own self satisfied. It is not just an innocent activity, as some will claim. This is evidenced by the way it makes you feel to be turned down, ignored, and otherwise made to feel unloved and not very wifey. I don't know how you compete with it. I know how to compete with another woman, or a job, or a hobby, but how do you compete with a man's love of himself?
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 12:17 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • the man may need more from his lady!!! think about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • Maybe this was one of those days that he got horny, and you weren't there so he did it. Did you ever think about it like that? And yea sometimes men don't feel like doing all the work, they just feel like laying back sometimes instead of having to do all the work while the woman lays back, so next time you have sex, maybe try and do all the work sometimes.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:42 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • All men do it, its in their nature. Its not something you need to worry about unless he's ignoring you inorder to masturbate...but thats doesnt sound like whats going on here.
    abbynzachsmommy

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 12:57 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • Some guys masturbate and they don't get off every single time. It just feels good. Even if he masturbated, it's not like you lost a chance to knock boots! Every one has to make their chances happen. It sounds like your jealous. And perhaps your own sex drive isn't being met. But the thing is with BP meds, it's a lot easier to get it up when he's not doing all the work. And a lot easier if he's sitting or lying down. You might want to go cowgirl on him!! Or at least take yourself in hand once in a while as well, maybe give him a bit of a show too. ;)

    Despite claims that masturbation is a undesirable activity, it does serve a purpose and is a normal and healthy behavior when not taken to extremes. And confusing jealous with masturbation as primary effect of cause is just wrong. Shows a clear lack of understanding of what jealous is and is caused by.
    isabellalecour

    Answer by isabellalecour at 1:24 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • It's easy. He doesn't have to get you turned on. No foreplay. No conversation, no negotiating with or pleasing another person. Just think of it as a snack. Sometimes you don't want the preparation and the fuss. If want sex more often, I think that is a different issue, and you should have a heart to heart with him.
    Hazelnutkin

    Answer by Hazelnutkin at 2:16 PM on May. 20, 2009

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