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How do I get control, when I lost it already?

My kids are running wild. Not cleaning, whinning all the time, not studing, not having good grades-but passing, lazy, lazy I tell ya. HELP-HOW DO I GET CONTROL BACK. I AM EXHAUSTED MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:14 AM on May. 20, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • How old are your kids? Age plays a large role in the answer to this question.
    BisketLiss

    Answer by BisketLiss at 11:14 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • ages, 5, 7, 10, and 13
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • If you haven't figured this out by now, you probably are not going to. You have to start when they are young. I hope your are still small enough to help. You have to let them know who is boss. What that means is: You are not their friend. You are the adult, they have to respect YOU. Spanking is crucial to this, because, as bad as some moms want to believe it is, you have to have them be afraid of you. That is the key. I am a small, petite person. My daughter's 15 year old boyfriends were afraid of me. They knew I was not playing around, when I told them or my kids to do something. It's really the ONLY way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:20 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • Mine are 5 and 7, I dont know about the older ones, but when my husband was out of weork for a while and finally went back to work they went crazy for a biot,m and it helped alot taking them diown to the bare basics, and starting all over with rules and roiutines and such. Nothing was taken for granted, they got no special anything, unless they earned it, had to work their way back up to doing fun things again. It was hard, and it took alot of determination and consistancy on my part but in just afew weeks, things were so much easier in the house and it all paid off.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:21 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • Spanking is NOT the only way. You can be firm with your children without striking them. I was raised on spankings, but I do not believe that they had anything to do with my respect for my parents who were open and honest with us, be reasonable with your children.

    If you want them to clean their rooms, offer a reward for doing it regularly, an allowance, or a trip to the zoo or a park or something. To do well in school I believe children need a set study time at home, not a long one, just an hour or two every afternoon to sit and do their work, without tv or other distractions.

    For whining, ignore it. Tell them they wont' get what they want by whining, and if they continue, they will lose a priveledge, like an hour of tv or something. Being firm with your children is the best thing. If you make a threat, stick to it. Remind them that you're the boss. Y
    BisketLiss

    Answer by BisketLiss at 11:23 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • Whether you choose to spank or not the key to getting them to listen is consistency. You make them do what they need to. If they are that out of control then you empty their rooms of everything but their bed and their dresser and let them know when they do what needs to be done they will start earning their stuff back. Assign them specific chores that they have to do every day and let them know if they do it every day without whining and fighting then they will get one thing of their choice back at the end of the week. By the time they earn their all their stuff back you will have them on a routine.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 11:42 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • There has to be structure in a home, if children aren't doing good in schoo, find out why, maybe they need tutoring, parental help during homework hours... Play-time canceled in the evenings with maybe one hour to play and then study and prep for the next day. Children need discipline... spankings maynot work for everyone, but definitely time-out, separation from each other and perhaps help from the other parent would help if this person is around. It seems that they are bombarding you because there is only one you, yet if children see this, they will take advantage of a situation in which then will take a turn for the worst. Please stop them now before its too late!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:45 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • You have to make a big statement. And, it's going ot have to start with the oldest (unless one of hter others is the ring leader!). Go into the living room when they are all there and turn off the TV and start going off on them about how you've had enough and your putting your foot down. It'll be tough. Start taking away their things. No TV until homework is done, no dinner until their room is cleaned. No going outside, no friends, no phone, etc. No exceptions! If htey fight, go to their room and start taking toys, games, etc. THey will need to respect you before anything really can be accomplished. Let the message sink in for the night and talk to them in the morning. Tell them things are going to change and you want their input. You will have the last word, but let them have some say too. YOu guys can come to terms on chores for each child, school work and tutoring by the older for the younger kids. cont. ..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:46 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • ... It won't happen over night, but if you stick to it you will see a change and things will get better. If they want to do something, they have to ask you. If they don't, they lose something. It's important for you and for them to set realistic goals. Improve grades by 1 grade over the next 6 months. Rooms cleaned once a week and chores that each kid can acheive. And for every goal, there should be a reward and lots of praise. Everytime they whine or don't do something right, have them put some money in a jar. Then when they have a good week they cna use the money for soemthing? Just an idea.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:50 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • Spank em
    lstrickland

    Answer by lstrickland at 7:57 PM on May. 20, 2009

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