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My daughter who is 12 yrs old confided in me that she has a crush on a 13 yr old boy and that apparently this boy has asked my daughter out. Having a boyfriend is totally out of the question at her age. My debate is whether we should let her go on a chaperoned date with this boy. We are new at this and are trying to keep an open mind. Any and all comments are accepted and appreciate it. keep in mind that she came to me instead of doing behind my back.


Asked by WIZZO at 11:30 AM on May. 20, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (15)
  • I think having the whole family over might be overwhelming...I mean, do you do that with a new friend (girl) that she makes at school? I think you should tell her she is too young to date, but not to be friends with a boy.....It could be an excellent experience to get to know this boy "as a friend". Just downplay the idea of "dating" and let the boy come over for a visit to hang out instead. Keep the visit on the shorter side and if they want to get together again schedule something for about two weeks out! Just don't let it get too much, too close, too soon..... I think it is more about balance. And even though some of it is semantics, I think it is still a good idea to minimize the romantic ideas and focus on the "friendship" aspect of the situation.

    Answer by BJoan at 8:33 AM on May. 22, 2009

  • Too young to date.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:33 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • I think instead of having a chaperoned date, maybe she could invite him over to have dinner with your family. It will be a good chance to allow her to spend time with him supervised. I wouldn't want to let her think that she was having a date at that age, chaperoned or not.

    Answer by 2-1CavWife at 11:33 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • Mybe they could go out in a they have mutual friends and you could take them all to the movies? I think allowing him to come over to your house is a good idea.

    Answer by ria7 at 11:37 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • that's great she can come to you and is comfortable talking to you about boys and dating. definitely don't think she should be dating at 12 years old. she can have the friend over the house to hang out/watch movies. but i would not let her go to the movies with him. she's too young.

    Answer by smb87 at 11:44 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • I think that if she wants to go out on a date in a group of friends (like her best friends and thier dates) then you should express how you feel about that but let her try and if it dosen't work out so well then try at home dates like studying together or coming over for dinner and things like that and then when she gets older let her try the group thing again.

    Answer by babyb1 at 11:48 AM on May. 20, 2009

  • Way too young to be getting involved with boys. Just because she has a crush on a boy doesn't mean it needs to be indulged. You need to explain to her why she's too young and the ramifications of getting involved with boys at an early age. She is still a little girl, way, way too young.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:04 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • Too young to date, even in groups or chaperoned.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:21 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • I'm right there with you, an 11 yr old girl and a 14 yr old boy.

    Our family policy on this is; No dating in any sense of the word until they achieve some level of maturity and independence at between 16 to18. 16 being the absolute youngest. And only if their school work and other responsibilities have been maintained.

    All of their buddies have to come to my door and present themselves and their parents, or at least the home phone number.

    Sounds harsh but these are kids who still rough and tumble like puppies and *love* the playground, so I'm not worried ... yet.

    Answer by MizKizzy at 1:22 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • Why not invite everyone over for a BBQ. Dating is dating with or without parents so show them its ok for your family and the boys family to do a group thing like volleyball and steaks on the grill. Our house no dating till 16 at lesast and then double at that.

    Answer by Onlygodknowswhy at 1:50 PM on May. 20, 2009