Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My 23 month old freaks out when we see my Mother in law

My 23 month old freaks out whenever we go to see my Mother In Law (his Dad's Mom). We don't go over all the often, just for holidays and birthdays, but sometimes I have had to drop him off so I can get important errands done (only twice). When we go over there he insists on being held all the time and we have to hold him just to get in the door because he won't go in by himself. Whenever she tries talking to him he screams and cries and it makes me feel terrible. All the other Grandchildren have no problem being over there and he is not like this with ANYONE else. He even hugged the handyman we had over to fix the toilet. I have discussed this with my Mom and my hubby but we have no idea what is wrong. Does anyone else have this problem? I even checked him for bruises or any signs of abuse because I was so worried why he acts that way, but nothing. I don't want to ever take him over there again because it makes me feel so bad.

Answer Question

Asked by Pewpewlasers at 1:43 PM on May. 20, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Try taking him over there more often if you can, and just spend some more time over there with him.

    Answer by lilbit837 at 1:45 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • Try having him spend time with her at your house. IN a familiar surrounding he may warm up more quickly. My son is quirky around one of my brothers for no apparent reason.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:47 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • How does he act when she is at your house? It could be he is just a sensitive kid and being around someone he's not with a lot, in a place he's not at a lot is too much. The handyman was safe because he was in your house, and he probably got your little guy involved some how. You know guys and

    Try having her over, get her to play with him, doing his kinds of stuff. If she doesn't want to play just have her there and let him warm up to her slowly.

    Answer by teamquinn at 1:48 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • Do you and your mother in law get along well? Maybe he's picking up some tension from you?

    Answer by TabathaM at 2:10 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • Sometimes it's such a strange thing, a toddler's mind! My mom said that I did the same thing about my grandma when I was little and it wasn't until I got 3 and could speak well, to tell my mom that I was afraid of her hair(she had a gray beehive) that was it! So it may be something very simple, like her glasses look scary to him, or her cat looks scary.

    Answer by Harrisonsmommie at 3:31 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • Please don't take this the wrong way, but to him, grandmother = mommy going away and leaving him there. My friend's daughter was the same way with her gramma. My friend left her there overnight to go to a conference, and ever since then, her daughter DREADED going to gramma's house. In fact, she didn't even like SEEING her grandmother. It caused a lot of hurt feelings on both sides.

    When you left him at your mil's house, were you gone for a long time? Did you sneak out instead of telling him "good-bye" and letting him see you leave the house? Your may may be a bit "traumatized". I would stop leaving him there until he feels more comfortable. Can mil go to YOUR house for visits for a little while?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • My daughter is that way with my favorite cousin. She is ok with everyone else, but afraid of my cousin. If she even talks to Emma while I'm holding her, she cries & turns away. I have no idea why. My cousin even looks a lot like me! The only thing we can figure out is maybe her voice pitch. We know she'll outgrow it. Emma will get over it when she gets older. Like Harrisonsmommie said, its probably something absolutely ridiculous. I would not limit time with MIL though, just don't leave him there. Hold him the entire time if you need to so he knows its a safe environment.


    Answer by carlye828 at 11:58 AM on May. 21, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.