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13 weeks and still not feeling a bond

I am 13 weeks pregnant with my second child, and I don't feel any bond with him/her. With my first, I was elated, but this was a bit of a surprise......also, I am sooo worried about how my oldest will adjust.

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Asked by TiffaniR at 2:09 PM on May. 20, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (5)
  • With my second baby I didn't feel a bond right away either. I had a friend who's baby died at birth and then two family members who had miscarriages right around the time we got pregnant. I was terrified something bad was going to happen to him.
    I didn't let myself be happy about being pregnant until about six months. By the time he was born I was elated like I had been when I had my first.
    Your oldest will adjust, they all do. Just make sure to spend extra special mommy time with her.

    Answer by Nathskitten at 2:16 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • Im 27 week-and though I love being a mommy, I have no connection with this one... No dreams, I get fustrated when he kicks-I dont enjoy it this time around...I know when I see him tough it will all be diff.
    And for that, I cant wait.
    Its ok mama-things always work out for the best and the good ol' Lord only gives us what we can handel!

    Answer by judith_visco at 2:18 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • I have 3 kids. If your second pregnancy was an unplanned surprise it could take time to adjust to haivng a second one. Also how are your fiinances, maybe that's in the back of your mind. When your out with your older dd point out babies and their mommies and siblings almost every time you're out to refer back too. Do any of your friends have more than one child your dd's age and younger sibling? If so try playdates with them to refer back to frequently. Nurture yourself remember while your pregnant and with your other dd. Talk to your doctor too how you feel, maybe he can offer suggestions. Remember you're adding another life to your family not another tv or car. That makes for being anxious. Take care and Care for yourself too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:20 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • A friend of mine didn't feel any connection with her second until she had her first sono and saw the baby. Maybe that will help.

    Answer by jazzysmommy1004 at 2:29 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • with the second one it's not new so the bonding sometimes doesn't happen until the kicking starts. The oldest one will adjust. They all do.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:47 PM on May. 20, 2009

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