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please, someone, what do i do about my 19 yr daugther, she lies about everything and disappears for days without any contact..help

What do i do about a disappearing 19 yr old?

Answer Question
 
brandie40

Asked by brandie40 at 4:16 PM on May. 20, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • She is 19 years old & you can no longer control her life. Why not kick her out & make her take care of herself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:19 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • Yeah when they turn 18 they can do whatever
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:19 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • Honestly she is old enough to do what she wants. She is a adult, there is nothing you can do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:19 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • She is 19 years old & you can no longer control her life. Why not kick her out & make her take care of herself.

    Ditto.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:20 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • Give her an ultimatum! She is NOW an adult and you are no longer legally and financially responsible for her! Sometimes they need some "tough love" to wake them up to grow up! At her age she should either be in college or working and paying rent to you or another landlord! I know its you"baby" but come on she is using you like the local motel 6! Time for you to help the apron strings be cut!
    chelley24

    Answer by chelley24 at 4:29 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • I have read some of the answers to this question here and being the step mom of a 19 year old who thinks that shes grown and playing house off and off with the bf herself, my response to you is to give her an ultimatum, get it together or get out. I recently posted something similar to this as I am going through it myself with her and her father as he defends all that she says and does but its a different story when it comes to him. I myself am not an enabler, but dad is. It's a hard age to try and control, but after I posted mine, I thought about it and I need to do what I just told you to do. Issue the ultimatum, get it together or get out. In my house, there is only one diva, me. You are the head honcho in yours and I know she's your daughter, but sometimes we gotta issue the tough love and I am gonna go and do it right now.....good luck.
    MammiJ4267

    Answer by MammiJ4267 at 11:05 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • Prayer and tough love sweetie she wants to b a grown woman she needs to learn to stand on her own two feet, if she can't respect u and ur house starting shelling it out wanna b grown treat her like she grown.
    threetimesaroun

    Answer by threetimesaroun at 3:58 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • At 19 it's her right to "disappear" if she wants to... She can leave you for ever and doesn't have to tell you a thing... There's nothing you can do...
    I moved out while my mom was at work one day, she never saw it comming. I lived on my own, worked full time, danced part time and love every moment of it! My mom and I didn't speak for years. Still wouldn't if I didn't have kids.
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 12:26 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • when i was around 15, i used to come and leave home whenever i pleased and never told my parents where i would be. i would be gone for maybe a few days to over a week.. i feel sooo terrible for what i put my parents through. i wish i could take it back now. but i'm glad that we have a relationship closer than we have ever had. when i was 16, they gave me a choice, respect their rules or get out.. being young and dumb, i got out. but it was a great decision because i had my time away from them but when i missed them, i'd come back and visit often. our relationship grew closer because we weren't constantly battling each other. if she wants independence, give it to her. because forcing her to stay home will only hurt your relationship. if you let her go willingly, she'll appreciate you more, and possibly feel guilty for what she's done (like i did..) good luck with your daughter.
    rAbella

    Answer by rAbella at 3:55 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • she's an adult. Nothing you can do about it. She'll come home when she's hungry
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:49 PM on May. 25, 2009

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