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Biomom relinquished son but still has him in her life. Younger son very confused.

Ok, my stepson's mother had a son when she was 16. She relinquished custody to her uncle, and still maintains a lot of contact. He understands the circumstances, but lives in a different state and never can manage to get down here to visit. Year round schooling. Occasionally, she will mention her older son to her younger son. He is only 7 and doesn't understand why his brother doesn't live with his mom, or the brother's dad. He doesn't understand why he doesn't ever call his brother, and has never met his brother. His mother hardly talks about older brother, but when she does, it is almost in passing. Stepson is concerned about that. He thinks that she should talk about him more and want to call more and have him come visit more. He is with his dad most of the time, only having weekend visits with mom and now is worried that his mom doesn't think about him when he isn't there. He won't talk to her, but I am so sad for him.


Asked by Anonymous at 4:55 PM on May. 20, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (1)
  • I totally understand. My step sons mom makes minimal contact (once about every 4-8 months) and it breaks his heart when she leaves because he knows he wont see her again anytime soon. (he is 3) Its hard to know what to say. My husband and I chose to not say anything bad about her. She is just "very busy" or "mommy loves you very much" but we try and just keep it simple and talk about it only when he brings it up but also try not to linger the conversation around her. He said the other day he doesnt like mommy Jen anymore becasue she makes him sad. I am glad he is starting to learn the truth but its like we can see his heart breaking as he figures it out. I am glad I am here to support him. I just wish there was more I could do. Poor little guy. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. He sees her behavior, but he can also feel how she really feels and that is probably the most devistating part for him.

    Answer by LovinEveryDay at 6:26 PM on May. 20, 2009