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How can I make my son stop acting like a baby?

My son is 12 y/o and is on Strattera for ADD. He is our youngest child and so we have always struggled with NOT babying him. He seems to think its okay to act like a baby or a toddler maybe. We have tried talking to him, re-enforcing positive things like what a nice young man he is becoming, how he made a mature choice, etc.. He is not very out going, preferring to read or spend time with his family and doesn't seem to have any friends in the neighborhood, only at school. I don't want to force him to grow up before his time but he needs to at least behave like a 12 almost 13 year old. He does it at home and when we are out or at other peoples home. We are also raising our 1 y/o grand-daughter but he was behaving this way for a long time before she was around.
Please be kind with your responses.

 
Mona330

Asked by Mona330 at 5:12 PM on May. 20, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Not all, but a lot of ADHD kids DO act impulsively and often inappropriately, which can easily be interpretted as acting immature in comparison to other kids their age. I am not saying ADHD or ADD is an excuse, but if your child has that condition you may have to approach changing behaviors in a different (often more intense) way than you do with kids who don't have the condition. As a parent you will have to work harder than you would if your child did not have ADD, and professional advise from your child's doctor MAY be helpful.
    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 10:26 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • I have a 27 year old sister in law that still needs her food cut for her and her mommy still does her hair...... IN BARRETS!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS F*UCKING SICK!!!! So if you find some answers please let me know. Although I think my MIL is the reason that monster is the way she is.
    Jillybeans24

    Answer by Jillybeans24 at 5:20 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • The only thing i can say is dont treat him like a baby treat him his age. You cant let him having ADD change how you treat him. My dad had this problem with my stepbrother because when he was 2 he had cancer and everyone in the family babied him when he was almost 15. Now because it never changed he is almost 18 and he cant get a job, wont do anything unless he is getting something out of it right then, and he struggles in school because if he didnt get something someone would just do it for him. Im not saying that this is going to happen just try to treat him his age. The talks are good but thats not all you can do. Make it his chore to take out the trash after dinner. And when he does this make sure he knows that that was a good thing that he did and if he dosnt do it then remind him once if its still not done then he needs to be punished. More of ok then do it now and walk with him to take it out but thats the main idea.
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 5:23 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • Please dont think im being rude i just think this might help. Good luck and hope things get better for you.
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 5:24 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • I think it's probably more the ADD than the fact that he's the baby in the family. I would talk to whoever prescribes the Strattera and ask for suggestions, or possibly talk to your son's school counselor. We are having similar issues w/ our 12 yo who has ADHD, and I am very worried that her inappropriate and immature behavior will drive away her friends and make her an outcast. Her school counselor suggested we look into Love & Logic, and we have found some good resources there.
    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 5:51 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • I have ADHD so having ADD has nothing to do with him behaving like a little child! it sounds like maybe your babieng him to much...treat him like a12 almost 13 year old...give him responsibilities...
    hug4akiss

    Answer by hug4akiss at 6:22 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • He does have a rotating chore assignment the same as his siblings. Sometimes getting them done is a nightmare in its self. We have talked to his dr and he really doesn't think much of it. Thats why I am turning to you ladies.
    Mona330

    Answer by Mona330 at 7:37 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • I invite you to take a look at my innovation at www.BlackBeltGoalsGame.com and see if this might work for you. In the interest of fairness, I should tell you that I now market the program and my opinion, though, positive would be biased, so I ask you to decide for yourself. Best wishes.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:35 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • Does he have consequences for his behavior? Do you feel sorry for him when he acts like this? I would completely ignore him and when he asks why you are acting that way, tell him, "I can't see or hear you when you act like that." Kids can't stand to be ignored!! And he needs to have negative consequences for bad behavior...like not doing his chores in a timely manner. He is NOT too old so spank, yet. But that will come soon. Time to nip this in the bud before he turns 14 or you will have LOTS of problems.
    singnstitch

    Answer by singnstitch at 8:38 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • It is NOT the ADD, my son is ADD and the same age as your son and he does NOT act like a baby. I don't allow him to . Plain and simple, IGNORE him when he acts like a baby. Tell him that when he acts appropriately then you will speak with him. There is no need for spanking him, punishing him or rewarding him. Ignore the behavior and it will stop. Do NOT use his ADD or let him use his ADD as an excuse for anything, because it is NOT.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:55 PM on May. 20, 2009