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A mother's confession: 'Hate me if you will, but I love my husband MORE than my children'

I just found this story. written by a loving mother who admits exactly how she feels. Without shame or guilt.

She openly admits that she loves her husband more then her children.
To quote:

'While I cherish the time I have with my children, I'm not in love with them. I am in love with my husband'

&

'I'm the one breaking this taboo. And yet - while I'm fully aware people will call me a bad mother - I can't feel guilty'

Do you think this makes her a bad mother?

I don't

 
mum-to-be-at-18

Asked by mum-to-be-at-18 at 7:50 PM on May. 20, 2009 in Relationships

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This question is closed.
Answers (29)
  • mogencreative...beautifully said...and I completely agree with you...

    The best thing parents can do for their children is make sure their marriage is strong and that they are shown to be a united front and a partnership. My marriage comes first in my house, then my children. Does it mean I neglect my kids while I pamper the husband? Nope...it just means that I have set boundaries in my home (my bedroom and my bed are, for the most part, mine and my husband's sanctuary) and I don't undermine my husband's authority with the kids, nor does he undermine me. Also, I am not afraid to tell my kids to 'go play' somewhere so I can spend some quiet time talking with my husband. I gave birth to the kids, but I don't 'own' them...they will one day be their own person and will have their own lives. I want to still be in love with my husband and him in love with me when that happens.
    mizkaye

    Answer by mizkaye at 9:46 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • I do not think she is a bad mother at all. There is a difference in "loving" and being "in love" with someone. I love my children but I am in love with my husband. Yes I love him as well. I thought being in love and loving someone were the same thing. It took me a long time and falling in love with my husband to realize the difference.
    AnnHenderson

    Answer by AnnHenderson at 7:52 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • yes i do how could u love your husband more then your kids im a mother of a 2yr old daughter i love my daughter MORE then my husband
    nakita72

    Answer by nakita72 at 7:52 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • im sorry but i really don't see how you could love your husband more then your child
    nakita72

    Answer by nakita72 at 7:53 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • perhaps you have never been in love Nakita.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:55 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • NO I DON'T THINK IT MAKES HER A BAD MOTHER, THESE ARE TWO DIFFERENT KINDS OF LOVE, BUT SHE IS DOING WHAT COMES NATURAL TO HER. SOME WOMEN DON'T HAVE THAT MATERNAL INSTINCT WHERE YOUR KIDS TAKE PREFERENCE OVER ANYTHING. BUT YOU KNOW I HAVE KNOWN OF TWO CASES WERE THE MOM WAS A WIFE FIRST AND A MOTHER SECOND, AND IN BOTH CASES, THEIR LOVING HUSBANDS CHEATED ON THEM WITH YOUNGER WOMEN, COULD THIS HAVE ANY CORRELATION?
    older

    Answer by older at 7:56 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • There a different kind of love you have for your husband than you have for your children.
    Fallaya

    Answer by Fallaya at 7:57 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • It's two different kindsw of love I have for my husband and my son. I love my husband. I'm IN LOVE with my husband. I love my son. I have a ",mama bear" instinct with him. As to who I love more...it's hard. It's just a different love and I don't think they can be measured the same way
    vicki136

    Answer by vicki136 at 7:58 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • The relationship you have with your spouse is second only to your relationship with God. And it is the most important relationship you will have on this earth. Your relationship with your children comes third. Children are given to us for only a time then they leave and start their own families. Spouses are for a lifetime. I'd say she's got it right.
    madsmom11597

    Answer by madsmom11597 at 7:59 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • Shes NOT a mother. Shes a woman who has kids. Shes NOT maternal and I feel sorry for her. She has no joy from her kids. SAD!!!!
    faithful78

    Answer by faithful78 at 8:00 PM on May. 20, 2009