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sweet 16 or not

I was planning a big sweet sixteen birthday party for my daughter she was gonna have a hawaiian theme and a pool party. I have spent way over a hundred bucks on decorations and stuff, but heres the problem last sunday she decided she was big enough to hit and kick me just because she got mad. Yes she got her ass beat but only with my hand which probaly wasnt enough but I took EVERYTHING from her room except 3 outfits and took her phone and told her the party is OFF I told her the only way she would get her stuff back is one outfit everyday if she is good for that day and she is certainly not getting her phone or electronics for a good while but im not sure if she should have her party because I have spent so much money and it is her sweet 16. Just want some opinions please.

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Asked by heavenlypeace at 8:24 PM on May. 20, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 4 (37 Credits)
Answers (22)
  • Wow, that's a tough one. I don't how far off her party is, but I would say no and stick to it if it's fairly close. If you have a ways to go (a month maybe?) then if her behavior is EXCELLENT then ok but one screw up and it's off. Parties are privileges. B/c you spent so much, keep the decorations and whatnot and maybe use them for next year's birthday. Bet she'll re-think her behavior if you carry through.

    Answer by AndrisMom at 8:30 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • The party was gonna be June 7

    Answer by heavenlypeace at 8:31 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • I agree. Parties are privileges. And she sure doesn't sound like she deserves ANY sort of privilege after that display.

    Can you take any of it back? Save it for next year? Sell it in bulk on Craigslist?

    Answer by fluud7 at 9:22 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • June 7th- I would say she has to work for it, like with every good grade, everytime she picks up or shows respect so on and so fourth give her a poker chip- two weeks before the party tell her to add up her chips and depending on how well behaved she was and how many chips she has is how many of her friends get to attend- but keep them in a mutual place- because when she screws up take some away-
    make a chart-treat her like the child she acted like
    This good behavior is worth this many chips
    keeping room clean is worth this many chips
    getting a passing grade is worth this many chips
    cleaning the kitchen is worth this many chips
    but make her work like a dog to earn those chips because they will bye back her belongings and party!

    Answer by judith_visco at 10:50 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • June 7th is awhile id make her work her ASS off until then...if she wants the party bad enough shell be willing to do anything you say and id take advantage of that...have ehr clean her the dishes...clean the bathroom...

    Answer by hug4akiss at 11:39 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • I agree with hug4akiss.
    And I'm 17 (almost 18), and if I ever did that to my mother (which i would never) I would definitely expect to be punished.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:59 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • I think judith has a good idea with the chips. its a good way to keep track of how she is doing and what she is doing.

    Answer by Shelii at 12:02 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • Kudos to you for follow-through! At my house, If I told her the party is off, it's off. If I said it, it's as good as done. I would tell her that she might have a belated party in a few weeks but as far as a party as big as the original that was planned, no way. Be careful in the future to not threaten anything you are not willing or able to follow through with...good luck!

    Answer by TessaBianca at 4:25 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • Save the decorations for the 4th of July, have a family party then. No party...since you said it was off. Yes, it's a good idea to have her earn her stuff back, and she will forever remember that when she was almost 16, she learned the hard way not to mess with her Mama! (If she's remorseful and sincere, take her out to eat and get her a small personal gift. No big extravaganza, no friends, etc. but her bday will be here in a couple of weeks regardless and you can celebrate it in a small way, and save the big party for graduation.

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 5:04 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • This is her sweet 16, let her have it. I know that when I was planning my neices sweet 16, because her mom was away for work, that everything had to be perfect, so giver her a break & punish her after the party. I know thats what I would do with my daughters if they were this age.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:27 PM on May. 21, 2009

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