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will i be a single mom again?

im SURE i am paranoid and crazy but i need advice, i have a year old son whos dad is minimally involved (lives in norcal i live in socal) neither of us have money to visit alot but the point is i was with him when i was 18 and we found out i was pregnant, when i was 5 months he left me and didnt meet his son till he was 8 months old and has only seen him a few times since, i am engaged and am going to be married in july/august ish (still deciding the date) to a new great guy and we found out in april that i am pregnant, he is really happy and has gone to every doc appt with me but he used to spend alot more time with me and hes a mechanic so i understand hes tired after work but i need to get some love too! lol and he just seems tired and crankier than usual and im worried becuz my sons dad started to change how he acted before he left me and i dont want this to happen again!! im SO SCARED , has this happened to anyone else?

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bradynsmom222

Asked by bradynsmom222 at 11:43 PM on May. 20, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (5)
  • CONTINUED: typo my son just turned 2 not 1, also how did u deal with this?
    is it normal to be so paranoid?
    bradynsmom222

    Answer by bradynsmom222 at 11:45 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • oh sweetie(hugs) I understand your fear totally. I am divorced and just had a baby with a man I love so much and its slowly falling apart and I ask myself "who will want a woman with 2 kids, 2 diff dads?" so I get it. have you tried asking him whats up? Someday we will both have the happy families we deserve, I have to believe that. best of luck honey, for us both.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 11:46 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • Have you mentioned his sudden mood changes? Good Luck, hope things get better.
    NicholeAT

    Answer by NicholeAT at 11:53 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • just pull him aside and straight up ask him if hes having doubts or whatnot. men always seem excited at first but deep inside they are feaking the F*ck out!! my 1st 2 kid's dad's (different daddys) did the same thing and my 3rd kids dad was excited too and but then started being distant more then ever- I was fed up and asked, i didnt want another father running out. and yes he was scared, we talked for awhile and calmed him down. everything is peachy now
    Kayge

    Answer by Kayge at 11:56 PM on May. 20, 2009

  • Talk to him. Don't go guessing.

    Now...changes ARE normal and don't necessarily herald a divorce. You will change too. 20 years form now, the two of you will be completely different people...BUT taking that journey together makes a huge difference.

    Very likely any changes you see have absolutely NOTHING to do with you. People do need space. Perhaps he's getting stressed over something that he hasn't told you about. So TALK. If you haven't started premarital counseling, that's also a good idea. It teaches you to roll with the changes that are inevitable in your lives.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:01 AM on May. 21, 2009

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